Recreate Nurturing as a Tribe – Reconnects the World

I’ve always felt intuitively that children need to be held close and not suffering the pain of separation until they are ready and choosing it themselves. I sense the deep insecurity of our world comes from inadequate nurturing as children. Moreover, the nuclear family or single parent family is so removed from the village where other relatives loved the children and had contact with them. My friend who was from Afghanistan said grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends were a feature of his childhood. He saw them as close family and never knew loneliness or stress. In my culture, Australia, I barely know my cousins and didn’t grow up with grandparents around. I did feel the loss of that and alienated from extended family.

My real hope is that we redesign the future and reconnect the world with loving intimate bonds that start with family, community and then the world. We are our brothers and sisters keepers I feel.

This excerpt below speaks of attachment and children. It is modelled on how indigenous people carry their children and hold them close.

http://www.helium.com/items/960849-parenting-styles-exploring-attachment-parenting/print

Parenting Styles: Exploring Attachment Parenting
by Sara Mcgrath

The “attachment parenting” approach to child-rearing appears to mimic a variety of indigenous child-rearing practices, such as breastfeeding, babywearing, and bed sharing. “Attached” parents stay close to their babies and respond readily to their babies’ needs for a secure parent-child bond.

Attachment Parenting is based on “Attachment Theory,” a psychological theory about the relationships between people, including babies and their caregivers. In Lauren Porter’s “The Science of Attachment,” she explores “the biological roots of love,” the way adults instinctively respond to babies, and the way product manufacturers use babies’ universal human needs to sell products.

Attachment Parenting as a Bridge from Indigenous to Modern Culture

Attachment Parenting as a philosophy was probably influenced by Jean Liedloff’s “The Continuum Concept.” She conceived her continuum concept after spending time among the Yequana people, indigenous to Venezuela, who continue to live much as our ancient ancestors did.

The continuum concept approach to child rearing includes many practices that are familiar to attachment parenting families such as holding pre-crawlers most of the time, nursing frequently, and sleeping together in the same bed. In addition, the continuum concept includes speaking to children using an adult style of language (not baby talk), respecting children as individuals who deserve a say in their own lives (not to be coerced), and trusting them to look out for their own safety.

The goal of a continuum, or CC, parent is to adequately meet the inborn expectations (universal human needs) of their children. These expectations begin with constant skin-to-skin contact, nursing immediately upon signaling their hunger, and exposure to their parents’ daily activities and environment. As these kids get older, their parents include them in their daily activities, allow them the freedom to learn and explore, and trust them to follow their own instincts.

The Continuum Concept, however, doesn’t work easily in mainstream Western culture. Attachment Parenting can form a bridge from ideal to practical. childrearing.

Ideally, children would be raised in a village atmosphere where they would be constantly in the arms of a caregiver until they chose to crawl or walk on their own. They would follow their own interests, explore, and imitate useful life work within a friendly community of older children and adults who all feel responsible for the children.

Although the village atmosphere is ideal, modern parents can include friends and family in their lives. An extended family household, for example, gives children the opportunity to interact with people of all ages and prevents parents from becoming overwhelmed by childrearing work. Parents, older siblings, and others can include the children in their activities so the children, who are genetically inclined to imitate, learn to participate in adult life. Additionally, parents can feed their children unprocessed foods that won’t adversely affect the children’s ability to learn and manage emotions. Essentially, parents must follow their instincts regarding the cues of their children.

Jean Liedloff formed her concept as a way of life expected by humans based on thousands of years of evolution and cultural development. She believes that this way of life is required in order for us to become healthy, happy adults. For those of us who didn’t receive ideal conditions when we were children, the understanding of what we missed can help us try to recreate those conditions or make up for them in creative ways so we can become happier people.

For a fuller picture of the continuum concept, read Jean Liedloff’s book, ‘The Continuum Concept: In Search of Happiness Lost.’ Related books are ‘Our Babies, Ourselves’ and ‘Kids’ by Meredith Small.

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Mohandas Gandhi

“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.”

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