Conflict Resolution: Conflict is Normal

This is a page from the Conflict Resolution Network website http://www.crnhq.org/pages.php?pID=12#skill_2.

The challenge is to not avoid conflict but to embrace it as an opportunity. To see it as an insight into who you really are. In truth, even those difficult people, do give us insights into ourselves. How we handle criticism, how we face fear of others, how we communicate, the beliefs we hold and our willingness to resolve for the outcome that both have a learning experience rather than a burning experience, which these days many have no qualms leaving people with. I have been trained in this area and I would never deliberately harm another, play a power game or walk away from facing an issue that someone has raised to me. I might get emotional, feel angry, but I do believe we are here to learn about ourselves and others provide that key. So many these days avoid any situation that may reveal them, or where they may get upset that we end up living in a sanitised world too afraid to speak up. Some will harbour grudges for years, others will silently feel resentful, others will punish you through raising the issue or stop the friendship. I feel resilience comes from learning to deal with problems in life and if you have enough goodwill you should be able to come out of it unscathed, certainly with your dignity intact. You cannot control the beliefs or attitudes of others, but you can approach situations with a peaceful outlook and a desire to truly hear the other and resolve the problem. This is where world peace starts, it starts with you and me, caring enough to find out the other side, as I often say ‘I might be wrong’. Nine times out of ten we are, to our surprise. Relationships are not about being seen to be (leave that at work) they are about being yourself and living in authenticity and integrity.

So enjoy this, conflict is great, spurs creativity as well when constructive.

Conflict is the Stuff of Life

Have you ever had a conflict and wished you could have handled it better?

Conflict comes about from differences – in needs, values and motivations. Sometimes through these differences we complement each other, but sometimes we will conflict. Conflict is not a problem in itself – it is what we do with it that counts.

It is important that we do something because whether we like it or not, conflicts demand our energy. In fact, an unresolved conflict can call on tremendous amounts of our attention. We all know how exhausting an unresolved conflict can be. It is not always easy to fix the problem but a great energy boost can come when we do. Resolving conflict requires skills.

What are Conflict Resolution Skills?

They are the skills that enable us to bypass personal differences and to open up to possibilities. The skills of CR draw us closer to other people, as we jointly search for fair solutions and balanced needs. It involves a powerful shift from adversaries to co-operative partners. In this shift each person benefits.

CR Skills Create Better Work Climates and More Fulfilling Relationships

For the organisational manager, skilful conflict-handling is an important managerial tool. Conflict can be seen as an opportunity for learning more about the company – its bottle-necks and inefficiencies, as well as its areas of expertise. The learning potential of conflict often goes unrecognised when staff and management react with “fight” or “flight”. “Flow”, the third way, requires Conflict Resolution skills.

These skills are also the tools for building friendship and intimacy. A whole new level of trust develops as people learn “we can work it out”. Relationships become more fulfilling and supporting.

The Conflict Resolution Network has put together a toolkit of 12 skills – you can reach in and take out what fits for any occasion. They are: The Win/Win Approach, The Creative Response, Empathy, Appropriate Assertiveness, Co-operative Power, Managing Emotions, Willingness to Resolve, Mapping the Conflict, Development of Options, Negotiation Skills, Third Party Mediation and Broadening Perspectives.

Conflict Resolution skills teach the psychology of effective communication.

Our philosophy

The resolution of world conflict does not lie only with governments. Everybody can support international peace endeavours. The Conflict Resolution Network is a peace program with daily relevance. The conflict-resolving manager helps build an effective economic system. The effective individual builds friendships and intimacy around them – vital components in social communication.