Family is the Secret to Real Success In Life

I send this out to all families in conflict. You can heal your family when you heal yourself. You be the change you wish to see and admit your role in disharmony without expecting anyone to admit theirs. Be the example and lead from love is the starting point. If you wish to dialogue then learn conflict resolution. Understand what love is and what love is not. Love stays, heals, reveals and shares. In some cases we may leave out of love for it is not healthy to stay. Always do what love prompts and it always leads to unity.

You can go and get free materials from the Conflict Resolution Network (Sydney) at http://www.crnhq.org/

Now is the time to heal. This poem I dedicate to you reading this. For you are the peace maker.

THE FAMILY CIRCLE

The family circle is broken,
The wedding ring is not eternal,
Children learn the discord of their parents,
They see love is not unconditional,
It depends on behaviour,
It depends on favour,
It depends on aesthetics,
It depends on approval or disapproval,
And this is not love.

The family circle,
Should be unbreakable,
Love is the bond that ensures harmony,
But what if parents don’t love each other?
Children learn to not love each other,
And the fighting starts,
As the children compete for attention,
The children model how conflict is dealt with,
It appears a battle unresolved,
Until the next dispute,
One chooses to avoid the argument,
The other is never satisfied,
For at the end of the day she knows she can never please him.

Relationships are not safe havens,
They are not there to be socially acceptable,
To not be alone,
Or to find financial security,
Relationship is a choice made from love,
As one chooses this person above all others,
To love, to learn from, to hold close,
It was never designed for power,
Nor criticism,
Or repeated patterns of abuse of the wounded heart,
That blames others for unhappiness,
But never looks at themselves.

It is better to live alone if in doubt,
For love is a sacred space,
For those who have had real love,
Know it is irreplaceable,
Know it is wonderful,
As each partner feels happy and shares joy,
As each looks with love at all the other does,
As love becomes shared opportunity,
Encouragement, admiration and appreciation,
A happy co-existence,
Holding hands each night and saying thank you,
As an infinite gratitude for the blessing of love,
Which was always worth waiting for.

The foundation for family must be loving,
The economic structure must favour families,
For if work is obsessive,
Money always tight,
Motives are selfish,
Perfectionism intolerant,
This becomes the context for another fight,
As ripples of disharmony are felt by others,
As wounded words aim to harm,
Silent actions aim to shut down,
Attack aims to dominate,
Avoidance aims to ignore,
There is never a win win,
As the battles rage for years as the norm.

So this brings us back full circle,
We have choices about our families,
To understand that the damage has been done,
However, one can make another decision …
To heal rifts,
To resolve conflicts,
To offer support and love,
To reveal one’s true heart,
That is how we repair families,
It is never about right or wrong,
As many take their hurts to the grave,
And they will surely return,
Until the lesson of forgiveness is learned,
As the cycle of life is not a one way street.

Healthy families are loving kindness,
Listening compassionately to another’s troubles,
Apologising when hurt is realised,
Acknowledging pain and offer solace,
To ensure disharmony is resolved,
This is the ground work for happiness.

If there is a Saint Germaine or Saint Jude,
I ask the saints to place love where hurt resides,
As apology and acknowledgement,
I ask that truth replace denial,
I ask that acceptance replace judgement,
I ask that generosity replace selfishness,
I ask that forgiveness be given completely,
And my family learns unconditional love,
As the present.

For when we love ourselves,
Then we can love each other,
When we forgive ourselves.
Then we forgive others,
When we are kind to ourselves,
Then kindness is offered with love,
When we see the Good Others Do (God),
We have healed our broken hearts,
And this is the secret to real success in life.