The Changing Roles of Women and Men

It is really interesting where I find myself, I am a woman but never had children. I had a career and a calling in the area of peace. So my inspiration was not to have children. So when I hear assertions that women are here to nurture children and that the role of women is to be mothers, in my case it isn’t true. So I am able to step out of the gender divide and just simply look.

I have been thinking about men a lot given a situation I experienced where what I perceive as a normal emotional response was not there. It made me question deeply the state of men. Not from a critical perspective but from a perspective of true understanding. As my wish for happiness for them is equal to women. As I am a woman I do have experience in this gender, the other I am not so clear on. I have been in relationship for 17 years so do have experience living with men but still feel there is much I do not understand.

I was thinking about my father. This was evoked by listening to a presentation by Steve Biddulph the famous author of ‘Raising Boys’. He spoke of the boys as typically one year behind girls and that the ratio of girls to boys at university was now 60:40. He spoke of the male brain not fully developing until 28 compared to 22 in girls. This does not mean that males are inferior to females, it just means developmentally we are different. It is not a race kids. He also stated that only 10% of boys have a close relationship with their fathers. I consider that serious, this is the person that brought them into the world and is their role model. This is the person who helps a boy define his masculinity and what it means to be a male, so if they are not friends, what does that do for the boy? So it made me think of my own father and two brothers. Needless to say my father does not speak to both boys. My older brother never felt approved by my father and the younger one has just given up. My father sees my older brother like my mother and doesn’t like his values. He himself didn’t have a father as his father took off to avoid military service during the Second World War, he never saw him again. My father was a infant at the time. So he never knew him. My father tried to find him in his 60’s and 70’s (years of age) and tried to create an image of his father, but he never could. It was a loss he felt deeply. His relationship with his own children has suffered and he speaks to none of them. I could never understand this as we did nothing wrong, he just detached himself and saw his role as providing and that was it after 18. I know my brothers suffered deeply, my older brother in particular. My younger brother had exposure to a loving and kind step father, so he at least had a good role model.

So I spoke to my mother about her experience and the roles she was expected to live out. She said when she was young the roles were very clear women look after children and do the housework and men go to work and provide, they mow the lawns and do the garden. She said it became very hard when she had to go to work, she said she hardly ever smiled. I reflected back on her constantly working, always hanging out washing, cooking dinner, cleaning and had very little time to herself. I remember my father printing out in the shed and playing golf every Sunday, which she resented. I only saw him cook a few times and remember lolly night. However, I never saw him clean the house. When my parents separated my mother went to a caravan park with the two boys and we two girls stayed with my father. Needless to say he was a hopeless house keeper and we did notice the absence of our mother. However, the house was peaceful and that was what we wanted, we got sick of the fighting. My mother said she just couldn’t cope with all the work. I think many women feel the burden of being both parents to children. Although my hope is that this is changing with the generations coming up.

I also would like to add I do feel for men, I don’t necessarily think it is their fault, society has formulated these roles and said this is the way it should be. Moreover, the increasing work pressures and the way we work has put exorbidant pressure on families and men. For males they thought their role was provider to find more demands and unhappiness from their partners/wives. The fact that men were absent fathers hasn’t helped in bonding them to their children, so many don’t really have that strong bond or if they do may feel unable to express it, other than wrestling and being big kids themselves. I remember going to a presentation in Melbourne by an American Indian called Russell Means, I recall him talking about growing up in matriarchy and the fact that males had to nurture the new born babies for 3 months, this enabled them to bond with their baby whilst the mother recovered from child birth. He said it created matriarchal societies which were very close and bonded. The mother was the central person and the men felt very connected. The group took responsibility for nurturing children.

I am also interested in child centred societies so that all children grow up balanced and nurtured by both genders. The society is designed around the needs of children rather than the need to make money. I think that people working could work part-time and be paid 3/4 of the full time wage. This could be accommodated by job share in most cases. So there is more leisure time between parents and children. Children need their fathers, I adored my father and was very close, so when he disconnected from us, I was deeply hurt and perplexed. I know he loves me but can’t express it. So from my perspective I would love to see men deeply connected to family and happy. I want males part of my life, but equally involved parents. I don’t want a stressed out mother who can’t cope, it stressed me and my siblings, so it is in all our interests that parents are happy. Happy parents nurture happy children. That together with grandparents and extended family being close by would change the face of the world. It may even soften the image of males as they realise hard is not strong, understanding and empathy is the real strength and is what they seek in relationships as well.

I have provided information on the changing gender roles of males and females which you may find interesting. You will note the rise of agrarian societies was the beginning of the disparity between men and women. Moreover, as a woman without children writing this I see the diminishing value of women given the value we place on productive work and the unimportance of domestic work. This is how the economic goal of greed undermines relationships. Those who are of value economically earn more or are educated, those who are workers earn less and devalued by society. Those outside the economy housewives, the poor, the elderly, are valued even less. If a woman is separated she is either on one income or welfare, she is likely to be in poverty which inhibits children’s needs being met and the social stigma at school. My mother and many women exclaimed to me, how do they do it? When many found it hard with husbands supporting them. Yet single mothers are judged by society and frowned upon. Women when they did work typically were in the service sector, particularly administrative roles. The research I did into Women In Local Government explored women’s issues at work (2010) this research made this clear, that majority of women in the Council I was looking at did the service type jobs because they had children (children become an economic handicap for women) and hence lower earning capacity. Those at senior levels were head of Family Services or in areas gender orientated.

In my early life I worked as a secretary and did clerical duties. My mother was a typist so that was my role model. If you asked me if I wanted to be a secretary I would say no. I only had stereotypes to go with and had no role models saying I could be anything else. Even when I worked I noted there was no career path and no-one cared what I wanted. I was just used as part of a machine to type information which I had no interest in. I got repetitive strain injury (RSI) and had years of back and neck problems from sitting for long hours. This was all I was exposed to. I used to write poetry between typing letters to free myself temporarily. When I wrote poetry I knew I had something, I felt my potential. I had no idea that I had an academic brain, was a philosopher and loved performing (clowning), that I found out later in my life when I had the courage to step out of meaningless work into non traditional areas. I did that alone without support.

When you look over the information below you will see a cultural shift emerges and it is clear why the tension between the genders had emerged as their worlds became separated. I look forward to when they are united again.

www.muse.widener.edu/~kleppel/EC315_ppt/history.ppt

Changing Roles in a Changing Society

For many years, the analysis of the behavior of men and women was heavily based on the importance of “man the hunter” and the biological function of woman as mother. A woman’s activities were centered around the home and her role as wife and mother. Any job she took outside the home needed to be compatible with her household responsibilities. On the other hand, a man’s role as provider pushed him to greater efforts outside the home.

The popular perception was that male and female roles among nonhuman species provided support for the view that biology is destiny.

More recently, however, anthropologists have found in their studies of animals that the male is not always aggressive and dominant and the female is not always passive and nurturing.Instead, behavior results from the influences of both inborn traits (“nature”) and the environment (“nurture”).

Gender Roles & Economic Development

Hunting and Gathering Societies

In technologically primitive societies of hunters and gatherers, men hunted large animals and defended the tribe, while women gathered fruits and vegetables, hunted small animals, prepared the food, and cared for the children.

This division of labor worked well when women were pregnant or nursing most of their adult lives and therefore could not participate in activities far from the home.

Horticultural Societies

In the somewhat more advanced horticultural societies, plants were cultivated in small plots near the home. Men continued to conduct warfare and also prepared the ground by slashing and burning. Women prepared the food and cared for the infants. Other activities were shared and the status of men and women was fairly equal during this stage.

Pastoral Societies

In pastoral societies, men herded large animals, an activity that often took them far from home. Herding provided much of what was needed for subsistence. Women tended to the home and had very low status.

Agricultural Societies

With the introduction of the plow, societies became more advanced agriculturally. However, only men owned the land and did most of the work in the fields. Women tended small animals and gardens and worked in the now permanent homes taking care of large families. A great disparity between the status of men and women developed.

Along with developing agriculture, urban centers began to form with a growing class of merchants and artisans.

Early Industrialization

During the early stages of industrialization, much of the production that was previously concentrated in the household moved to the factory and the office. Women’s activities continued to center around the home. As their productive role declined, so did their status. In time, though, continued industrialization drew increasing numbers of women into the paid labor force.

Pre Industrial (US experience)

In colonial America, as in other pre-industrial economies, the family was the dominant economic unit and production was the main function of the family. Both adults and children participated in production.

Most of the necessities of survival were produced in the household. Some household goods were produced for sale and the proceeds were used to purchase some market goods. Men were primarily responsible for agriculture while women did most of the rest of the work. The productive role of children and the high infant mortality rates provided an incentive to have many children. (In the 1700s, women probably had an average of 8 to 10 children.)

Industrialization

With industrialization in the late 1700s and early 1800s, production moved outside the home. Women, however, were mostly confined to household work. Some women worked in the textile mills and other industries. But it was mostly young women who did so and, when they married, they usually left their jobs to tend to their households, which would soon include children. A more rigid division of labor within the home developed. The earliest labor force participation (LFP) data show that in 1890, 84% of men but only 18% of women were in the paid labor force. Of married women, only 5% worked outside the home. The American ideal of the family was the male breadwinner and the female homemaker who tended to domestic needs.

Industrialization & Changes in the Household

Despite new inventions, the time spent doing housework increased because standards for housekeeping rose. The fertility rate declined during industrialization, partly because the economic value of children from household production was greatly diminished. In addition, children spent more years in school and remained dependent on their parents for longer. Women born in the early 1800s averaged fewer than five births, and those born near the end of the century averaged about three births. However, the amount of maternal care per child increased dramatically.

The man was the head of the household and the authority in all important matters, such as where the family would live. The woman made most of the everyday purchases but with her husband’s wishes and the pleasure of her family in mind. In the 1800s the ideal for femininity involved domesticity and submissiveness.

Initially, the availability of women for work in industry was welcomed because they provided cheap labor, while agricultural production could be maintained by men. However, with the growing influx of immigrants, attitudes changed. Working men were eager to get women out of all but the lowest paying jobs.

At this time, market work was common among single women and a small number of women chose careers over marriage as a lifelong vocation. However, exclusive dedication to the role of wife and mother was widely accepted as the only proper and fulfilling life for a woman.

Eventually progressive modernization brought about dramatic changes in conditions of production and in the economic roles of men and women. Changes in ideas and aspirations followed and rigid differentiation of roles became less appropriate.

As recently as 1940, the labor force participation (LFP) of married women was only 14%, while it was 46% for single women. Part of this difference is attributable to the “marriage bar,” which prohibited employment of married women and was in use from the late 1800s to the mid-1900s (similar to Australia). Another obstacle to married women’s employment was the lack of part-time jobs when women’s household responsibilities were quite demanding.

When women did work, they tended to be concentrated in a few occupations, which were different from those in which men usually worked. At the turn of the last century, about 42% of men worked in agriculture and 38% in manufacturing. Only 3% were in service jobs.

Clerical Work

Clerical work was originally dominated by men. Before the 1900s, about 85% of clerical workers were men. Clerical jobs were attractive to women because the relevant skills did not depreciate much during periods out of the labor force and reentry was relatively easy. Employers were willing to hire women for clerical jobs because there was a large, inexpensive pool of women with high school educations who needed little or no training to perform the work.

Women’s Rising LFP

Women’s labor force participation has been rising ever since the 1890s, when the first official data were available.

YEAR Women’s Labour force
Participation

1890 18%
1940 28%
1999 60%

Participating in productive activities beyond housekeeping has tended to bring women a greater measure of equality. Gender roles tend to linger in spite of economic development. Women still have the main responsibility for the home and children, even though a large proportion is now in the labor force full-time. Jobs originally given to men because of the need for strength are still considered mainly male jobs despite mechanization.

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The future is changing. I do believe we are in crisis in families but out of that I do think a more understanding society will emerge. Moreover, you see far more fathers either with their babies strapped to their bodies or out with prams. I saw that in many countries. I smile inwardly when I see that. I smile because I love to see them connect to their children and share the joy of parenting. I feel they have missed out on very important bonding and involvement in nurturing. It connects them to the feeling part of their true nature which connects them spiritually to the meaning of life. That is why three quarters of people attending Mind, Body and Spirit Festivals are women, they know that deep connection with the planet and spiritual life and how good that feels. This is important for happiness. Life becomes deeply meaningful and I would so love men to feel that. Rather than it be a rote job where employers don’t care about their wellbeing and just take them away from what is important in their lives.

My former partner and I discussed everything and we shared the work equally, we helped each other as much as we could. We never spoke aggressively to each other. We had our own money but we shared always. We didn’t have one fight, he was a really lovely kind man and We had a harmonious relationship for 11 years. I saw him last year, I thanked him for being my best friend and being there for me. I was grateful he came into my life.

So perhaps look at your own relationships, trust me, when you give to each other rather than taking or needing something all the time, the dynamic will change. Really open up dialogue in a way that is exploratory rather than condemining or all knowing, you will flower something magical and you will get to know your real partner. Much of this takes self examination and truthfulness. Be open to hear what you don’t want to hear. Your partner is the best person to tell you about you. Don’t take offence, really embrace it and work on yourself. This is problem solving rather than blame. Turn all conflict into an opportunity to learn about yourself and your partner.

Your children will see it and they will take it with them into life. It is called love. Love reveals, heals, cares, shares and stays.

Love is peace.

Take care and much love to you.