Parental Alienation is Child Abuse
Dr. Edward Kruk, Associate Professor of Social Work at the University of British Columbia speaks at a Reykjavik Conference about the effects of parental alienation on children. “Permission to Love” is a conference on Parental Alienation. It was held in Reykjavik, Iceland, on the International Awareness Day on Parental Alienation on April 25th 2017.
I have witnessed parental alienation and what I saw was one parent put down the other parent in front of the children. You can hear the hate and alienation which is a form of demonization. The courts are used to take away the rights of a parent and in some cases a deliberate strategy to make up abuse issues to further alienate the parent from the child. It is a form of pay back. It is to make them pay. Moreover, the alienation extends to the family as they are seen as the enemy and so children do not get to know Aunts, Uncles, cousins and grandparents. The child loses the experience of family and belonging and learns distrust. It is indeed abuse and it ensures a child carries the pain their entire life. In cases of an abusive parent then one parent does have to protect their child and sometimes minimising exposure to an abusive person can be for the child’s highest good.
Primary manifestation the child’s views of target parent is demonization he is stating. The effects on the child are profound. Children lose the ability to accept and give love to a parent, they are trained to hate one parent. Their emotional rejection and loss of a loving parent is abuse. he speaks of emotional abuse as just debilitating as severe as physical or sexual abuse of children. When children witness the abuse of parent is harmful child abuse. Witnessing abuse of parents, witnessing abuse of one’s own child is a form of domestic violence. It includes low self esteem, self hatred, depression, social isolation, addiction, self harm. Self hatred is disturbing among affected children in respect of parental alienation. Teaching hatred of the other parent is tantamount to self hatred, children internalise it. They believe their parent didn’t love them. They feel unloved by one or both given separation. They can not mourn the loss of a parent or talk. Hatred does not come naturally it has to be taught. Self hatred is taught. To teach hate is a danger to emotional health of that child. Children feel worthless, flawed, unloved, unwanted, only valued in meeting other’s needs. Psycho social disturbances, lack of trust, anxiety, poor relationships with peers and parents. They enter partnerships earlier, have children outside relationships and become alienated from own children. The video explains what this means in more detail. It is recommended viewing.
Legal forums contribute to parental alienation. the parent is removed from a child’s life. Legal determinations where resident is with one parent, lack of legal recognition of both parents. They fight to win, particularly in North America, the system rewards people who are skilled at adversarial combat. Parents win by disparaging the other parent. Engaging alienating behaviours, the system encourages thereby, produces alienating behaviour. Parental alienation is likely to occur in legal jurisdiction where child resident is granted to one parent. Less likely in jurisdictions with presumption of equal parenting.
I found the comments about the legal forum very interesting, the idea of equality is important. Parental alienation is a form of child abuse he states. Equal parenting responsibility is important. I agree with this providing it is in the child’s highest interests. I believe in equality in the home and this becomes a form of democracy. children see their parents behaving with respect.