Family Tree

I heard my friend speaking to her father this morning by skype. I felt very sad as my own father does not communicate. He remarried and has never been there as a father. I was very close to him as a child and never understood why he drifted away. Why family never seemed important to him. I do know he grew up in a single parent family, his own father he never knew and he apparently absconded during the war and was never seen again. His own mother (my grandmother) described his father as a womaniser, he was never reliable or around. Does that sound familiar. What happened to fathers and what happened to family. Here is my poetic response to my own pain. I sent this to my father for Christmas.

FAMILY TREE

What does it mean the world is my family?
How can it be?
The world is a family?
Are we speaking of a species?
Or a particular group?
What does family mean?
Why are they my world?

We have come from the same root,
For the tree of life bears many fruit,
Depending on the quality of the soil,
Depending on the season,
Depending on the type of seed,
There are many varieties,
But a tree is a tree,
And all the branches are reaching for the sun,
As this is the sunlight of the happiness of life itself.

A branch cannot exist without the tree,
The trunk cannot exist without the soil,
Nor the leaves without the bud,
Yet each face has the bud of potential,
Assuming the conditions are optimum.

Sometimes we cannot see the forest for the trees,
Sometimes the forest is dark,
It is frightening as shadows loom large,
Yet the darkness is simply the absence of light,
The light is always present,
For life on earth needs light to survive,
For nothing exists in isolation of the other.

The human family is separated,
The human plight is desperate,
For many are cast out of home seeking greener pastures,
For ones survival depends on good fortune,
Yet the wealth exists within the familial bonds,
The terrain becomes hard and arduous when one leaves,
For one is searching for the root,
Without knowing that it has been left behind,
As the chord was severed.

Family knows that each is part of each other,
When parents are united,
The tree becomes strong and deeply rooted,
For the root draws up nutrients of values and joy,
Secure in belonging,
In the knowledge that one always has a home,
And can return to the tree,
To sing together,
Is the greatest gift a father can give to his daughters and sons,
Is the greatest moment a mother can give sons and daughters,
As each reach out to enjoy the fruit of the others life experience
without comparison or envy,
And not to throw out the bad fruit,
But to understand that what is rotten can be healed,
In the right conditions
of unconditional love.

There has been much deforestation,
Many trees are dying with dis-ease,
For the root no longer knows the branches,
The leaves float on the winds of hope,
Sometimes never to return home,
For there is no home to return to,
When one judges harshly,
When one rejects mistakes,
When one is jealous of another’s love,
When one lives in the past as if real,
When one no longer communicates,
What was known becomes a stranger,
What was close becomes distant,
For when one flies home there is no where to land,
The environment has changed,
There is another family replacing the old,
Another wife,
Another husband,
And unless they see the branches of love in the other,
The other may be out on a limb,
That no longer supports their existence,
Providing temporary shelter from the sunlight
of acceptance.

The truth is we are all one tree,
With many varieties,
Yet to embrace difference is to seek not to impose one’s imprint on another,
To simply understand that each branch curls and curves given different conditions,
Some resist the winds of change,
Others are shaped by them,
Yet each is living and alive with presence,
And the sand rubbing in the shell,
Creates the pearl of wisdom,
For one can never change another,
Only use their wisdom to see more in the other,
For to push away is to resist,
Unreal expectations end in disappointment,
Total acceptance of wins/losses without condition
is the foundation well-spring,
Is the strong root of the family,
That loves unconditionally,
And that is my Christmas wish for you all.