It is a Long Road “I Have Faith” Thanks to Patch Adams

This is for Patch Adams, he seems to have come into my heart tonight.  So I send this beautiful message to all those who have had a difficult time and felt unheard when they had such good intentions.  Stay strong. I am with you.

To be a clown has been the most beautiful experience of my life where I could really allow my humanity to shine. It was a space where I joined with every person.  It was about shining a light to show them how great they are.  I really felt the greatness in them and me in those moments.  It is a message that is impossible to convey to those who never feel this.  I cannot express the deep love I feel always, I feel so soft when I look at others.  I will never become hardened by this world, I will get softer.  I will give more.  I will try harder.  Why?  Because I see the beauty in you and me. I have faith.

I haven’t been able to clown for a while as I am homeless and have been focused on those ignored by society.  I feel repressed by a society that walks past those suffering.  Due to my own pain and hurt I wasn’t able to go out there and clown for a time.  I know I will but for the moment I am looking into the hard face of the world and really looking deeply into the eyes and wondering why?  I am interested in who they really are.  I am observing people without being the centre, I am standing on the periphery watching as I feel their pain more now.  It is like having a broken wing but I do find my second wind uplifts me, always something comes for me, I know the magic of life.  Luckily the love inside me is so strong that I keep getting up.  Real hope comes into my eyes and the light is there.  I am grateful for that. I can always smile, that I never lost.  Always even when I felt really sad I can smile at others, it is a gift I guess. I just love people so much. I can’t give them my sorrow.

I love you Patch.  Thanks for contacting me to come to Russia with 40 clowns.  I thank Rupert Murdoch’s late sister for paying for my trip (I didn’t know that at the time, found out when I looked into a book at random).  Nice to know some good in his family.

Patch, you did change my life and showed me compassion that was always free.  You set me on a trthajectory that reinforced my belief in true love and peace, not anti anything but pro all that is beautiful.  I have done my best in my life to hold the space for peace and keep loving under all conditions.  (I’ve just pasted my videos in Russia so you can feel what I felt).

This video is about Patch. Reminds me of Russia.  The videos that follow this one are about Robin Williams another incredibly beautiful person. He sadly suicided.  Such a light in the world.  I wrote a blog before this one of my experience of desiring to suicide.  I know Robin would say to everyone, DON’T DO IT I DIDN’T GET IT!!  Keep trying, don’t give up I can hear him saying.  If you come to this blog and feel this way know this is a message for you.  It is still a wonderful world no matter how it appears sometimes.  I love you.  You are worthy, beautiful, talented and gorgeous – re-member!!  I have faith to believe.  Note:  I have just added two videos from Russia in 2002 when I was there.  It is still relevant today.  I will never forget Patch.  I love his focus on friendshipism.

In Moscow Patch discussing clowning with international clowns:

Love Revolution speech is about servant leadership (powerful):

(apologies for the film quality, my first time filming)

Mohandas Gandhi

“An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”