The Love Story of Your Life Flowers When Open

In truth the marriage is to love, not the other. As you grow in love for yourself, it creates space in order to be with the other. Often in marriages we see people seeking to fulfill their own needs through the other. Yet the happiest of marriages is where each partner allows the other to grow in freedom. I remember when I was married I wrote the wedding ceremony. I saw it as a garden where both grew and welcomed variety and colour into this garden. I recall saying that love is a compromise, a meeting in the middle, it is a lessening of expectations and allowance of the other to be themselves. I’ve always believed that. I never felt to change my partner, I felt the desire to deeply know him. Always I respected him and told him I loved him every day. If I was wrong I sought to understand my misunderstanding. He was also a very easy going person and never imposed any control over me. He was my best friend and we shared everything – the housework, shopping, cooking we did as true equals.

All relationships are challenging as we learn to love ourselves. As we do the beauty of our garden grows and is visible, the aroma of kindness is the scent of happiness wrapping us in comfort providing the real security of love. Conflict is inevitable in relationships as we see differently at times, that is natural and can be worked out by just being open and saying what you feel and perceive, then asking the other innocently what was going on for them, without presuming. Then conflict becomes a problem to be solved or a misunderstanding to be cleared through open and clear communication without blame. This is love in action. In the case of violence, there are deeper issues and counselling is required or you may have to leave if it is unsafe and toxic. Violence is a call for help and is a dysfunction based on fear.

Marriage cross culturally can have many meanings, perspectives, rituals and conditions. For myself, in Australia it was never binding or restrictive, it was joyful and freeing. Living together was the same. A marriage certificate does not guarantee loyalty, love or happiness, most marriages have to be worked at with good communication to deal with the stresses and strains of life and children. It is so important for both to share responsibility as we are each other’s partner, friend and mate.

Before thinking of marriage, spend time getting to know the person, don’t rush and discuss the relationship and what you both want. Be sure to be compatiable, if not you will have challenges, sometimes that can bring out the best, other times it can be a prison of deep despair.

Make your garden a rose garden that blooms and inspires love and community. As you see that manifest in your life, know it is within you that healing and love is present. This becomes the reality children will grow up in, this is peace on earth as the true beauty of humanity in all its glory. Peace starts in the home and its birth place is the union of men and women or indeed lovers in community.

A LOVE STORY

Marriage is the missing linkage,
That joins community,
It is the celebration of love,
That warms the heart and the toes,
For the winter of discontent fades into
A sunrise of new hope,
As you found each other,
In warm arms.

The special other looks deeply into your eyes,
And you are smiling through tears,
For only a lover sees you,
Falling in love is a new season full of blooms,
So fresh and alive,
Revealing that you are lovable, loving and loved,
And as others see the shine of your friend-ship,
The loyalty of your allegiance,
Love strengthens the foundation of a new life,
As new flowers bloom in your garden,
And the sun shines on your happiness,
For you deserve the warmth and excitement of romance.

Know that despite turbulence,
That you are held in high esteem,
That your life is valued no matter what you do,
That any conflict is a reflection of deeper care,
As you have touched many lives,
Because you care,
to be touched.

May your journey take you to places
You have never been,
May your mornings smell of coffee and conversation,
That flows like fine wine,
In an ocean intoxicating,
Celebrating each tender moment,
May your family be embraced as a home full of friends,
May you laugh and cry,
Get drunk on life and let go of lies,
Look silently into the shimmering sky as a bouquet of possibility,
For each experience is a star twinkling,
In the memory of your sacred hearts,
For life itself is the greatest love story,
Lived in unique moments frame by frame,
Picture perfect every day,
When love has displayed what is truly beautiful,
We see the flower of love in life,
As perfection.