Leaving Brisbane A New Journey Will Begin

My life in Brisbane feels like more circles closing. When I returned to Australia from my world trip, I found myself with the strongest feeling of doors closing. I found myself saying goodbye to my friends and I felt I was truly leaving. Again, in Brisbane this last 4 months I have had some extraordinary experiences.

I lived in Brisbane 20 years ago and by chance (or is it?) I saw my former flatmate Owen at the university. He lived with myself and former partner for a year or so. He is a lovely guy and it was like seeing a brother when I saw him. His first words were that he had grown up he was not so arrogant. We caught up some weeks later and he filled me in on the past 20 years. He and his partner Fiona married and had two lovely boys. When I knew him he was in Sales he went on to finish a Law degree and then became a Lecturer in Marketing. He had travelled a lot and was very wise I noticed. He was a great parent to his sons teaching them courage and responsibility. He never bullied his sons but gave them choices. He had read Steve Biddulph’s book on raising boys and he didn’t want to make the same mistakes as his father. He brought his boys up in a loving but balanced way. I really enjoyed our conversation and I felt so proud of who he had become. I gave him a big hug and we parted.

About a month ago I met this guy who called himself a sharman coming out of a shop near where I live. He commented on my wrap around blanket I wear. I thought he was a she, as he had jewellery and looked feminine. Turns out it was a guy and he said he was into American Indian ritual and medicine and had been accepted by them, he had a certificate. He apparently taught school children about the American Indians, he was passionate about their culture and mother earth. He had been a wanderer, camped out bush, canoed down rivers and lived off the land. He seemed to me to be a free spirit. He had a peace earring on and that interested me. I asked him for coffee. In the first 5 minutes he gives me a rose quartz crystal and then a card which says ‘I let go of all pain and tension as I float in the sea of devine love.’ That was relevant to me as I had a conflict which was still causing me sadness. I paid attention to this guy. He was kind and I gave him a hug and wished him well.

Then a few weeks ago I found myself on my way to University of Queensland and decided to drop in at a shopping centre for lunch. It was one of the first places I worked when I first came to Queensland 20 years ago, so it was nice to revisit. I ordered lunch and remembered I had to get money out of the ATM. So I go upstairs and I saw the ATM, then couldn’t find it, went back again and saw my former boss. I worked with her for a year in Brisbane as a research assistant. Her and I caught up in Melbourne and she got me work as an Analyst. Anyway, I was thrilled to see her and she said she would catch up for lunch with me. She had retired and realised that she had few friends given how much she worked. Market Research is not an easy industry, the hours are long. She will now do the things that make her happy. Later on that day I remember thinking about the chain of events that lead me to meet with her at that precise moment. I had decided the night before I happened to see a newspaper clipping and realised the Richard Branson seminar was on the next day, I thought maybe I should just go and see if I get lucky and talk to him about an idea I have. I did go to the seminar and waited for him to show but security asked me not to be there unless I was attending the seminar. I didn’t mind I just allowed whatever to happen. It didn’t happen and I found myself leaving the hotel feeling peaceful and happy. I chatted with a girl on the bus and inspired her to get a vision board to work out what she wants in life. I then picked up my car in the next suburb drove towards the University of Queensland and then had the thought to go to the shopping centre. What I reflected on was that it was all perfect timing, even not finding the ATM, had I found it straight away my former boss and I would have missed. It just reinforced the magic of life to me and the sense things are meant to be.

I had an experience when I was at University of Queensland. I decided by impulse to go into a child care centre. Well as I said hello to the Manager, he just out of the blue said ‘I see the light of god in you’. I was taken a back as no-one had ever said that to me. I just grabbed his hand surprised. I then said ‘well you will ring me then’. Sure enough he rang me to book me as a clown for the children. He then invited me a few times to visit him and talk about life. I told him of my life experience. He told me he couldn’t stop thinking of me and apologised for coming on so strong. I said don’t worry I understand you are passionate. It is good to be true to yourself. Anyway, he then said he wanted to give me a gift. He wanted to buy me a gift card to help with paying for my camping gear. I don’t have much money. At first I said no as I didn’t feel right. Then he wrote to me and said ‘I want to support your work in peace for the children’. That did it for me, I was working for children, on that basis I accepted it. When I received the card I was shocked at the amount, he was very generous to me. I wrote and thanked him and said I felt the light of god was in him, he said I was seeing myself. I smiled at his humility. I went out today looking at camping equipment and I am so glad he did this as it is expensive. I just feel so happy. It feels like the green light for my trip. So many wonderful things happen to me. I really want to teach children the joy I feel and show them the world is an amazing place. If I can travel the world on a shoe string, become a clown, go to Russia with Patch then why not a trip around Australia. I feel a particular pull towards seeing the country, particularly the desert. I don’t see this as a holiday but part of my work in peace. I remember my trip around Australia when I was 20, I remember how huge this country is and really beautiful. I remember the red desert, it amazed me at its brilliance, I thought it would just be red dirt, but it was more than that. This time I will go alone but I am going to take in the beauty of this land and deeply appreciate it. I will also look for work in schools, by donation. It is harder to get work in schools in cities as the curriculum’s are so busy and people don’t realise the importance of peace education I feel. My work is about joy as a clown and harmony. It is a work in progress that I am constantly working on in myself. I believe when I become harmony, my world changes. So just imagine if everyone learns how to be harmonious in life, this is harmony with nature, as we are nature. That is my practice anyway.

I caught up recently with another former housemate, who is now a partner in an Accounting firm. He wanted me to meet a couple of his friends. We all went out for coffee. They wanted to know about my life as a peace clown, my trip to Russia with Patch Adams and my trip around the world by myself. I shared with them my philosophy on life, I feel life is about love. Overtime, I am losing fear and trusting that life is unfolding as it should. I am trying to unlearn the desire to control life or structure it. My friend the accountant found it hard to just go from his head to his heart. I understood this as people are trained to be thinkers, rather than feel life. I feel the true wisdom and inner navigation comes through the heart. He said how will he know. I said you will feel passionate or inspired. He wanted to have a more structured approach. However, I feel the inspiration in my life comes from being open hearted. I don’t feel you can think it through. So we had a long discussion and many laughs. It was so nice to be with him. Nice to be with an old friend.

Remember I talked about the Sharman guy earlier on. Well I had to go through my paper bin to find something I’d thrown out to find out of the blue this sharman’s card. I hesitated, do I keep it or toss it out? I decided to keep it. Well that morning I had planned to check in my car for an oil change. I left it at the shops and decided to catch a bus to the city. Blow me down if that guy is not sitting at the bus stop. I hugged him and he says he wants to give me something. He gives me a crystal bracelet. I had seen this bracelet in a shop and admired it. I gave him my bracelet as an exchange. I also needed to know some bush wisdom as I plan to travel soon. I asked him about crocodiles. He said they are on the latitude of Rockhampton and he said if they are around don’t camp near rivers, camp high, he said if you need water tie a rope to the bucket and throw it in. He then told me that the crocs they watch your pattern. One might be sitting on the far bank it will be there a few times watching, the third time it will be under the water near where it expects you to be. So you have to be careful. I asked about dingos and kangaroos, he said don’t leave food out, keep scraps in the car. Good advice I thought. He offered to help me shop for camping equipment. Really nice guy, another amazing coincidence (or is it?).

Then last week I thought I must get my car registered I go to the Department of Transport and I bump into the first guy I met here in Brisbane, he is a Environmental Lecturer at Griffith Uni. I told him about my plans to travel Australia as a Peace and Sustainabilty clown in rural areas. We then talked about the carbon tax which is the topic of our times. From an economics perspective I could see it will be inflationary, yet I was not against it as symbolically and psychologically we have to shift from a mentality of carbon to one of renewables. Unfortunately people are not going to shift because of ecological conscience, they typically go with self interest. So I can see the importance of making polluters accountable and the community will also pay for it as they consume. Also in a poem I wrote some time ago I added in the ecological component of GDP as GDP=C+I+G+(EV-EC)+(X-M), C=consumption, I=investment, G=Government spending, EV=Ecological Value, EC=Ecological Cost, X=Exports, M=Imports. So you factor in ecological costs essentially. Determining ecological value is a hard one how do you price nature (its value is not a part but a whole). However, to make the world fit into economics you could determine a percentage figure worked on how much we extract less replacement e.g. trees. GDP goes down if extraction > then replacement or there are externalities e.g. pollution. The real wealth of the country falls if we damage nature. The point is factoring it in. So in that sense I am for a carbon tax. In reality I don’t think it will change us enough to stop the ice caps melting and the damage that is already in the atmosphere not to mention species extinction, destruction of coral reefs, loss of top soil etc. I believe we need radical change that creates self sufficiency and zero emissions. However, society is not ready for that and politicians I feel cannot imagine a world off the electricity grid. Anyway we discussed these issues and I talked about my trip teaching peace and sustainability (as values based). I feel it is important for children to feel the values. I told him not to see the polluters as the enemy but to be positive towards those who don’t agree, we are community and ultimately we are here to create unity. He saw that, he is a Buddhist. I reminded him of compassion. He liked that. With the values based work I explained values and sustainability for example Responsibility is the Ability to Respond you can do something. Empathy is imagining you are nature, what does it feel like (creates connection with the natural world). Australian aboriginals do corroborees where they dance as emu’s or kangaroos etc. they model the animals and pass stories through creative arts, it never is forgotten, the message is in a rhythm. Very powerful teaching. I spoke further about the integration of values and our true nature. Anyway, then the moment to say goodbye came, I gave him a hug. Probably the last time we see each other. Then another coincidence happened…

I walked into the Department of Transport and noticed a man at the counter. I knew him. It was my childhood friend’s husband. He left the building and I ran after him. I said ‘Steve Steve’ he didn’t respond then I remembered his name was Michael, I yelled out ‘Michael’. He responded. I was so happy as his wife I met when we were 15 years. I was stunned at this. I thought we are meant to see each other. So we arrange to meet my friend tonight infact. I go for dinner and she was so lovely and mature from years ago. The last time we saw each other we were in our twenties. She has since had two children, really interesting kids and she is a really wonderful person. We reminised and talked about life it was so great to see her. She told me she had a half brother, I told her I knew 20 years ago. My mother had told me but the moment didn’t come up then to tell her, I wasn’t sure if she wanted to know. Tonight I told her his name and she searched for him on google and found a man who looked just like her dad. I encouraged her to meet him. Timing of life is quite remarkable. Anyway it was a great joy to see her again. She is like a sister to me. I never expected to see her again.

What an amazing life I am having. I still have frequent feelings of being in enormous joy. It is hard to describe. I am working on my life, freeing myself from negative thoughts. Peace is an inside job and I have found in my experience, when you let life just carry you, you open yourself up to life, at times it appears magical. It is hard to describe but it is showing me to trust in my life and just allow it. So that is what I will do. Whatever happens happens. That is fine by me.

You have a beautiful day/night wherever you are. Perhaps just notice any coincidences that happen to you. Become mindful of your life. Each day is a blessing and we are lucky to be alive. We can choose to see life as the glass half empty or half full. For me it feels like it is briming.

Much love and peace to you, your friends and family.