Stories on Clowning Around – Australia

I felt today I’d like to share with you some of my actual experiences as a clown. I will just share with you choice cuts.

I became a clown because I saw a lecture by Patricia Cameron Hill and Shayne Yates, these two people are married. Patricia is a Nurse and Shayne is a Doctor. So they travelled around conducting workshops with a wide range of organisations to promote humour. I actually went to the seminar to help a Doctor friend of mine. It turned out I was inspired about clowning. So my other crazy friend and I decided to go clowning in a hospital 24 hours later. We had no training, we were naturals. All those years of stirring from 13 years old, paid off. I now had a bigger audience to play with. I never grew up which was a great relief.

I have had some truly memorable experiences and some embarrassing moments, foot in mouth comes to mind. Good thing I don’t wear the big clown shoes. Without doubt I would trip over myself and if I stood too long they would be speed bumps. My first clowning foray was in Canberra hospital where my friend and I started clown rounds. We just wanted to bring joy to people stuck in hospital. One good thing is that you have a captured audience, they can’t run away. So they can laugh to keep you there or laugh to pity you, either way I didn’t mind, laughter is the best medicine.

I never set out to be the greatest clown, if anything, I was overly casual about it. I noticed I had no discipline to learn any songs or jokes, I did attempt a few times, but I just joke naturally. I see funny in a lot of things and people do make me laugh. Seriousness is the one thing I find the most funny and it is like standing in front of one of those guards at Buckingham Palace (London), the temptation to just do a staring contest or point your finger to his nose and see who breaks first. Clowning is a bit like that.

So a few stories…

When I first clowned at Canberra hospital with my friend Doctor Woo Hoo, we had some great experiences. One really memorable one was visiting with an old lady. I bounced up to her and she was sitting at the end of her bed with her tray. I put on the love glasses and said ‘don’t you look gorgeous’ I then said ‘you can only see love through these glasses, very special’. She smiled at me and I blew up a balloon. We tapped the balloon between each other and she was really smiling. Then a lady who was in the bed opposite said she was a nurse, but not well at the moment. She said ‘you don’t know what you just did’. I said ‘what did I do?’, she said ‘that lady has not smiled in 6 months or moved that arm in 6 years’. I was gob smacked (shocked), ‘really’ I said. She was serious. I thought there is much about clowning I don’t understand, I think we access another part of the brain. I am able to reach people in a different way. People are very open to clowns, perhaps they forget themselves.

Some interesting experiences that were not what I expected was when I went to massage a Doctor and he started screaming ‘don’t touch me’. I instantly saw trauma there and wondered at his childhood. I also have had Nurses say they are fearful of clowns and I remember saying to one of them ‘turn around and face the wall and pretend I am normal’, kind of a clown therapy, I then gave her a back massage. She was cured. Woo hoo. I have cured quite a few by pretending I am more scared of them and joking saying ‘don’t look at me’ I am scared of people.

My clown buddy Hairy Potter and I typically clowned together so I will recount some stories with him. We used to clown at the Austin Hospital in Melbourne for the Veterans and then we went to Darley House, the old people’s home. One particular time I remember we saw a guy with cerebral palsy, he twitched and ticked and blow me down, he had a manual typewriter. I just imagined trying to type on the keys then ticking, you have to time it. See some people have real challenges. Anyway, we bounced up ‘hello gorgeous’ is my usual introduction. We asked him what are you typing a novel, a script and letter, lets have a look. The guy is a poet typing up the most extraordinary Australian poetry. This was the poetry you would see in Banjo Patterson’s era, talking about sheep stations and the country. Probably he was a country guy. So I put on my love glasses and did a rendition of his work. He was so excited, more ticking and a big smile. I read it out in the Australian vernacular and announced it to the ward and world. My friend Hairy made lots of positive comments to him and did his usual cut outs. These are the most extraordinary cut outs. Some people call them doilies. You know the paper people chains that people do, well Jon does paper mosaics, of crosses, love hearts, all linked in this complex picture. Really astounding stuff. A few snips and whallah. I squeaked my nose and gave this guy a huge hug. Then we started to skip off down the hall chatting with people in our usual banter. To our amazement this guy gets out of bed and chases us down the hall, I remember he was limping as his cerebral palsy affected his body. He gave us his address and wanted us to write to him. I gave him mine. We touched his heart and he touched ours.

We often play with the nurses, sometimes they are what I call Brunhilda’s or the matron type (tough) sometimes they are open and friendly. Nurses have seen it all, they are a no shit group, but having said that they are up to their elbows in it at times. Nurses are very functional people, so you have to play it carefully. I often go up to reception and tell them I heard this was a great hotel, free food, free bed. I’d like to check in please. They look at this painted clown with long multi-colour eye lashes and a jingly jesters hat, and laugh. We wave our magic wands, we hand out inspiration cards. I often say take a card any card, and I playfully tease them with getting a card. Then I announce it and that sets up their day. We blow bubbles, often I say make a wish or I try and eat them, and say yummy. Kids love that. Or I get out my secret weapon, or what I term weapons of mass distraction, the (drum roll) orgasmatron…

Ever heard of that….? well I often tell people it is better than marriage. When I am with kids I call it the giggle stick. Have to tailor to audiences hey. I say to adults just imagine you get total pleasure, no answering back and it never leaves you. They have a giggle, then I raise it up above their heads. I say do you believe in a higher power, would you like to go to nirvana, I get an expectant nod often. Then I give them a head massage. It is made of copper and it feels unbelievable as it is like fingers that massage the whole head, all at once. Very efficient, cost effective little device. I would love to have an audio recording of all the ‘oohs’ and ‘aaahs’, people saying you must try this. I often say ‘I’ll have what she’s having’. Always liked that movie when Harry met Sally. Very funny.

I’ve met some interesting characters in the Veterans area. We go in and clown around and play pool with the veterans. They are lovely old blokes. I have asked a few what they think of war, all don’t like it and think it is a waste of time. I remember meeting a veteran who actually witnessed the bomb in Hiroshima. He was on the ground, obviously not ground zero or we wouldn’t be speaking but he saw the cloud. I was stunned, I though what are the chances of meeting such a guy. Another had some connection with the HMAS Melbourne that was sunk after a collision with HMAS Voyager. Can’t remember the details of it, but I just was so surprised.

I remember another time when I was clowning in the Austin Repat Hospital and I heard this accent. I said where are you from (could be America or Canada), he says I am an American. Turns out he is from Texas. I said ‘do you know George Bush?’ He says ‘yes he was my neighbour.’ I started to really grin at that point. What are the chances of that I thought. I said ‘what is he like?’ He said ‘a lot of shooting nextdoor.’ I laughed and said ‘so what has changed.’ This was whilst Bush was in power. We had a good laugh and moved on. Only as a clown do you meet these characters.

We also used to go the Royal Talbot which has a lot of spinal unit cases. Many people who have had accidents and lost motor skills. So we go there and interact with the staff. I bring out my puppets as people walk and just put them up on the shoulder and say ‘hello polly how are you today’. We went to a particular ward where people still talk about us today. I am still invited as a volunteer years after I stopped. We made some special connections with nurses there. When you play with people and bring them joy, they really love you for it. When they realise you are volunteers they become amazed. When we did charge (to be taken seriously haha) we only charged a very nominal amount. I have to say at the Veterans area, I laughed when I found we had been replaced by Simpsons donkey. I said to Hairy I bet that donkey can’t juggle, or crack jokes and probably poops all over. Try hugging the patients with those hoofs. Simpson was a soldier who had a donkey in the first World War, he became famous as he saved so many people, transporting wounded people on his donkey. It was nice to remember soldiers who showed compassion, I did love that. However, the donkey had higher rank ha!

I remember going to the Talbot with all the clowns Uncle Rad, Clown Lee Lee, Hairy Potter and myself, Peacefull clown. It is really nice when you get a group going. It is much easier to create a positive dynamic. So we went and visited the patients. You have to be sensitive because people maybe very sick or depressed, so there is a fine line you walk as a clown. We make sure we don’t upset anyone, our job is to bring joy. Sometimes leaving people alone is the kindest act. I remember walking in on a guy who was paralysed and in bed. Uncle Rad started up a song and we all joined in. I pulled out my juggling balls and did some juggling. Jon played his Happy UN birthday song. It basically means you can sing happy birthday every day except their birthday, although we do make exceptions haha. This guys family came in and we threw balls around the group and put a wig on him with a bower (feathers not boer contrictor). We put the love glasses on and the cameras come out. Uncle Rad was particularly good at bringing groups together.

I remember talking to an activist friend about a protest for refugees, I said why don’t you do something inspiring rather than be against something.  Anyway, she said what would you do.  I said make two big christmas cards and get people to sign them for the refugees stuck in Maribrynong (spelling eek) Detention Centre and one for the United Nations (world peace).  Anyway I did just that.  Set up the two human sized cards in Swanston street outside the Christmas windows (story of christmas).  I asked people to write messages on little bits of paper to people who had no home at Maribyrnong.  I asked people to extend wishes for peace to the UN.  I ended up filling both cards.  Anyway, I was thinking how do I spell Maribyrnong (aboriginal word).  I spoke to a lady at the Detention Centre and I asked if we could drop the card off on Wednesday. She said how many are you? I said three.  She said we are having our Christmas party on Wednesday why don’t you come.  I said great, I can bring our christmas card.  Didn’t tell her it was life sized and full of words of support for the refugees.  So in we went.  It was quite a miracle, you can’t get in there unless you know someone.  Anyway, we came to the maximum security gates and some Welsh guys bantered with us.  I said don’t forget the key (to let us out).  It was interesting going in there.  To have essentially civilian people who are fleeing persecution in there is really amazing.  Also there were children in detention at the time. We had the Pacific Solution in Australia at the time under Howard.  I won’t go into the politics here but let’s just say most of them were genuine refugees from Iraq and Afghanistan.  Anyway, I said to the guards if they wanted to search me, I can declare I have weapons of mass distraction.  They laughed and I orgasmatroned each one.    I don’t like to miss anyone out.  For me all humans are in my catchment and I feel to include every person.  I have no negative thoughts at all.  We come to the gate which leads us to the grassy area out the back for the Christmas party.  My two clown friends push me in front, that would be right send out the woman first.  Chickens.  Anyway, I go in full of confidence and I say to the people ‘we love you and we have a christmas card from the people of Melbourne, they love you’.  The card was leaned against the wall.  I then started juggling and blowing bubbles and bantering with those speaking english.  I massaged them, as they are probably tense and stressed.  They told me stories about their journey’s.  The guards were big burly guys and I massaged them as well.  It was good for the refugees and guards to see each other’s humanity, to re-humanise the people.  I really liked that.  In the end as the refugees were going back in, I got the Red Cross, volunteers and guards in a circle and we did a group hug.  We left the facility feeling great and a sense of unity emerging from these crazy divisions we all create through roles and how we label people.  In truth we are all human and we can always be kind and loving no matter the circumstances.   Try to see the real person is my only advice.  Then we went off to Carlton to deliver the UN Card to the United Nations.  They were chuffed, did some photos and off we went to the streets.   We ended up on a street corner and Rad got this lady to walk with a book on her head. Then we had her sing on the corner. Then Rod Quantock (Australian comedian) came out and we dusted him down (feather duster) and joked with him. I actually met him some years later and interviewed him for radio and took him to his hotel in my smokey old car. His humour was political and he did have a sarcastic quality but he was really tapping into frustrations many Australians felt about our politicians and overseas events. The clowns, jesters, comedians are very important for allowing people to express frustration positively, they actually allow sensitive topics to be talked about but with humour.

I remember Hairy Potter and I going to Southbank near the Yarra river. It is a nice area full of bars and coffee shops. I recall Jon and I clowning around with the people and a little child came up, as they do, magnets actually. Anyway she would have been 3-4 years old. Jon and I joked with her blew some bubbles. Then Jon gave her a banana in pjamas doll. We were with her no more than 3 minutes. Anyway, the next day I was driving out of a side street in Fitzroy, dressed normally, and this child was on the street. She saw me instantly and said ‘clown’. I was shocked and amazed as I drove away. I am hard to recognise as a clown. She recognised me instantly, it told me that children see the person, not the mask. That was an amazing revelation that day and it is why I believe in children’s voices so much. They are very clear and honest, they see the truth more easily than adults. We have forgotten or perhaps learned too well.

When Hairy Potter and I clown on the streets, we wave at people, we hug them and we may do little dances. I love to juggle so I drop my balls and make out I am sad, I often gesture for people to pick them up, then I race them to the ball. I will go to shake hands then pull back and always you get such a cheeky grin. They try it a couple of times then stop the game. So funny to watch them thinking it through.

I remember clowning down Swanston Street in Melbourne and waving to tourists, finding out where they are from and generally joking. I remember seeing this old man who had a badly pocked face. He wore rough clothes and was sitting alone. He looked pretty bad. The people ignored him. I went up and said ‘hello gorgeous’ and found myself on bended knee whilst he was sitting on the bench. He told me he was from Bendigo and he was an only child. He told me he had been in the Vietnam war an had stepped on a landmine. Now I don’t know how he had feet, but he told me he his feet swelled up every week and he had them drained. Wow, poor guy I thought. He was very proud of the fact he wasn’t a drinker yet lived with alcoholics. I gave him a big hug and wished him well. As I walked away I thought couldn’t do that as a woman, have to be a clown to bring that beauty to the man. I never forgot him and really felt honoured to meet such a brave person. He must have been very lonely.

Other times I’ve just smiled at people and they said it made their whole day. What a society when a smile becomes so special. Patch did comment in Russia that people think what we do is extraordinary but in truth it is normal. I so agree with that. We aren’t loving each other enough, instead we spend a lot of time judging appearances. Just imagine if you chose to say hi to the person on the train, bus or street. Now even if they looked at you and thought you crazy, you are changing the world, in just that one act. I talk a lot to people anyway, and everyone is great.

I remember clowning on the street and I asked a kid for a go on his skateboard. He was surprised, a female clown. Thought I’d break my neck. He didn’t know I was the first woman in the southern hemisphere to ride a Perspex half pipe hee hee. So jumped on and started to tick tac they get so surprised. Then a tram driver tooted his bell (ding ding) on his tram and actually spoke over loud speaker something like, ya clown… haha. That was so funny.

We also went clowning near the Melbourne Museum and we chatted with some young people. They told us to come into their house. A big old Victorian house from a bygone era. There were staircases spiralling to the top. Then my clown buddy Jon got on the grand piano and played a concerto. He is so talented. He came from a wealthy family in England and was successful in Australia, he had the attitudes of a gentleman. So interesting to talk to him. We joked with the young people and then skipped off, we had a wonderful time, as did they.

What I love is through these interactions our world opens up. Preconceived ideas we may have had about people fall away in the instant you connect. That is why bravely embracing life is so important, that is how you learn the reality. Life is not anywhere as serious as we have made it. The seriousness is what suppresses all the levity and humanness which gives life its richness. To me it is not about money it is about connection and love. I found an abundance that money cannot buy.

I might share with you some experiences clowning overseas.

REAL HOPE Program in schools

I spent a year researching values as a means of creating an effective peace education program. I felt inspired to write REAL HOPE. This is an acronym for Responsibility, Empathy, Awareness, Love, Honesty, Oneness, Peace, Enjoyment (and there is a secret S on the end Service. This is also a model. If you want to know if a person is real you ask are they responsible (able to respond), do they feel empathy (feeling for others), are they aware (what are they aware of) and do they express or feel love. This is authenticity. The second part HOPE is about how do we know we have hope – Are we honest, do we feel oneness with the planet and other people (family), do we feel in balance (yin/yang) and are we feeling joy (enjoyment), these are the seeds of real hope. So I produced a really great peace education program that had lots of games. I had kids learn critical thinking through brainstorming (to ask questions), I got them engaging the creative part of the brain through jokes, but non discriminatory jokes. I also taught a bit of philosophy (deeper thinking) and then activities to learn these values. I felt it was important for children to integrate universal values. Values that all humans share.

I dressed as a clown and would often just spontaneously joke with them or tell stories and they loved that. I would also do juggling with them. Balances the right and left hemispheres and promotes relaxed concentration. Many kids don’t read these days so it was to help them to learn to concentrate. They also don’t have good sleeping patterns as parenting is much slacker these days and more social problems in families. At the end of the session I would get them to meditate on the value and imagine themselves doing it. They wrote clown books and shared with me how they applied the values in their day to day life. Thus bringing concepts to life.

I worked in primary schools and did some special schools. I had some amazing experiences in schools and the children really loved me. I always believed a love based classroom is the key to creating a more loving society. So my teaching was never making anyone wrong, it was exploring topics and questioning norms and getting the kids to really work out their own truth.

I explained truth like a mirror ball. I told them there are many panels to a mirror ball. Each represents a person reflecting their truth. When we look into the mirror ball we can’t see ourselves, yet if we look into this mirror (a fluffy love mirror) we can only see ourselves. So there is much truth out there. We only know our own truth. It was a great way to convey truth. I also told kids you can speak the truth the whole time. Most people believe in white lies, and yes we all do it. I am working on stopping all lies or denials (kidding ourselves). So I say to them if a person says do you like my jumper and you don’t you just word the truth as what is important is that you like the jumper, we are all different, it wouldn’t suit me, but if you like it wear it. So you can be honest without hurting anyone. We talked about empathy and I wore huge shoes to convey the symbol of standing in another’s shoes. I had shoe earings. Kids never miss a trick, they remembered everything I wore. They got the links. It was to help them remember.

I remember coming into class and seeing one child sitting there with a colourful wig on an a sign with the words LOVE on it. He felt inspired to be different, I loved that he felt that freedom. Another child who tried to pull my wig off and I gently told him not to do that. He got the courage together to come into my class with a note and hand it to me. He said dear peace clown I am sorry I tried to take your wig, you are a great clown and we are happy you are here. Words to that effect, how beautiful and courageous was that. Another child was scared of clowns, so a parent and teacher brought the child to me after class. I just was juggling and smiled. I then dropped my balls and indicated the child pick it up. She did and we started a game, the phobia was gone. She was just afraid of difference. With my work I am encouraging people to embrace differences, there are no enemies only those running around in our imaginations. Gandhi said that, I completely agree. We have to learn about each other and understand. Them and us defeats us all.

I also remember one particular girl who was quite large and she was physically isolated by the class. I could see that she sat on the side and it was very obvious. I did notice later as I was teaching the kids more about empathy, they started to include her. As they became more happy they naturally included her. It was a great breakthrough.

One last story from teaching. This was to do with autism. Apparently on the last day of my teaching. An autistic child changed their routine to say goodbye to me. To my amazement the teacher was running in circles in the room. She was screaming with delight. She then told me this boy had never changed his routine, she was so happy. So somehow being a clown inspired the child. I was so happy.

Your childhood experiences have great impact on your future life, so how important is it to help children learn peaceful skills when young. This changes their world and makes the world a better place.

I cannot convey to you the joy of being a clown. It reminds of of Billy Joel’s song which talked about a man who chose to be a clown in Leningrad. This is way way of seeing we are all very similar when we call on the highest part of ourselves, what makes us feel happy.

Have a happy day. Keep smiling even when you don’t feel like it. Fake it til you make it as they say.