Why Surveillance and Not Problem Solving?

I have been reflecting on intelligence gathering today by the world’s agencies and even in business settings. What I have come to understand clearly is that there is a modus operandi of looking for threats rather than solving problems.

Over the years this realisation has become clearer. I see it in the realm of the world of men who do see differently from women. I note that boys growing up witness images or role models of men solving problems through aggression. Yet what they don’t know is that aggression in truth is a call for help. Now most men will cringe with that because they want it to be seen as standing up, being brave etc. Underneath the bravado is fear. Always that is true for violence is a reflection of needing defence through either defence or attack. Defence is the beginning of war in any case. What this means is that if you feel something is threatening fear has arisen. This is a normal human emotion that everyone feels at some point. However, in most cases the fear is psychological, the actual physical threat is not there.

I have had a long term dispute with a group of educated men but have been truly astounded at their inability to sit down and problem solve. Rather than communicate they chose to ignore the problem. I’ve seen this pattern in many men and of course women. In this case I was focused on males or you could say, the masculine.

What I learned from them is that they judged the situation, they then justified their decision and closed the door. When they were asked for mediation as a means of closure for myself, they refused. I puzzled over why they wouldn’t care about myself being resolved. I realised I was not in their interests, they had a business focus and that was that. However, I suffered incredibly as I was confused over the lack of duty of care, or care about my life. I came to the edge of my life with the dispute and still there was no response. It troubled me greatly as I care for people and wouldn’t let a person suffer for an hour. These men had the ability to disconnect and remove themselves emotionally from the situation. Emotions actually are there as navigators to the emotional landscape. You use your emotions to sense what is happening and this instructs you on response. Disconnection is not natural, it is learned and suppression is the reason why men are not feeling in this way. Trained from boyhood to be a man and not show feeling, they do feel in their way but it is not acceptable, so emotional disputes they avoid. However, if a life is at stake and they still remain silent this is where psychological injury and self harm can occur. Action has to be taken. Even if they rationalise their side of the dispute is right, humanity would move them to act. What I saw was them not act. I am a problem solver myself and I had to know the truth of this. What I came to realise was that they don’t know how to problem solve, they don’t know how to navigate this human dimension, they can only respond to rules and procedures. Legal issues or reputational issues will move them to act (self interest) but not life threatening ones. I found that interesting. They had no skills in sitting someone down and sharing power. That is to ask them their viewpoint, then express theirs and then come to common ground and resolve. At the very least respect differences and allow for diversity in relation to solving a problem. The reality was we came from two different world views. Theirs was a corporate one of vested interest, profits and reputation for a win/lose. They intended to make sure they were in a untouchable position. I came from a human perspective, conflict resolution and problem solving for a win/win. Today I realise I have work to do to help not only men but women too, to understand that all conflict is misunderstanding and that we do have tools to solve all problems non violently. If we are disconnecting emotionally we are likely to wittingly or unwittingly harm others. So the emotions are essential to tap into wisdom and response. People need a response as they need to feel heard or at least understood. Many conflicts can dissolve when others learn to just listen to another person. The increasing frustration, stress and outbursts of anger come from continual repression of our natural state. Violence emerges if we have been suppressed our whole lives, it feels energetic and releasing that is why men fight. They haven’t been able to release through emotional discourse and expression. Art, poetry, philosophy or any activity that accesses the right side of the brain will give relief and allow a person to express their feelings. It is not just women who need this men do as well. We have to move from an old paradigm of strength is silence, it is not it is repression. Real strength is sitting down allowing others to see your pain and vulnerability in a safe space and both expressing from their perspective without blame. When we learn to say I statements … I feel this when you did that and what I want is…. this can save millions if not billions around the planet. Conflict resolution is a lot cheaper (if you are an accounting type) than litigation or violence, not only that, it heals relationships. I saw the longevity of this dispute because I was persistent. I had to know why. I could be demonised (and was) for this but it felt important as my desire is to understand the dynamic of real peace. I was electronically surveilled in this and not told (illegal). The case was never closed as the truth was never discovered or faced so the illusion of beliefs that cast a shadow on myself was never lifted. I saw this as a real problem and error in the ability to assess risk and resolve problems. I saw risk management, military assessments, policing etc. as part of the same mindset of looking for the problem rather than looking for the solution. You have to set clear intent if you want real answers to problems. The law of attraction will give you what you are looking for. We often have self fulfilling prophecy’s this is not by chance. You look for the red car long enough you see red cars. That is how the mind works. If every Muslim is a terrorist, guess what you see behaviours that looks suspicious. If you come from neutrality within a mindset of problem solving then you see things as they are not as you are. That is a very important point one I really understand. Byron Katie (refer www.thework.com) explains the importance of questioning thinking. All conflict should be put on paper, she is right, we have to look at it without the story of a war. All war comes from within and what we see in our world reflects us. Most don’t know this as they unconsciously believe their thoughts. They then go, so I was right, as they found the evidence. Yet as an analyst myself I’ve assessed with a mind that is neutral. I am seeking patterns, I am looking for what is similar then different, what is being said, what it means in loose interpretation, not reading too much into it. To balance intelligence is extremely important. To use both emotional/intellectual intelligence with a very good understanding of human nature is critical. If analysts are trained to find enemies or wrong doers many innocent people can be hurt as the analyst projected a story or saw that build around them. There is more to people than what is seen and anyone can be taught to challenge their beliefs, which drives behaviour. People need the tools to do that if we want to stop the violence. We have to look within at our own beliefs and find ways to solve the problem. Peace education is one way I came up with. Clowning was another way as it rewired the brain to see with love and create atmosphere’s of peace. Education through university, studying conflict, seeing what schools of thought went before, definitely helped me see more clearly. Today I feel love and I don’t fear the conflict, I never hate the parties but seek to step back and understand them. I am realising conflict resolution and problem solving is key to resolving my own issues with conflict. To look within at my own powerlessness that drives the sadness in me. I have come to see it is never true. I saw the pain I went through took me to the truth of my inner inquiry and this was really positive for me. I really get conflict much deeper now, but importantly I can see solutions and different ways of handling it.

Today as a mature woman I see clearly the link between fearlessness and no threat. I see it as a dynamic interplay. When I travelled the world alone I had no fear. I found that people along my way helped me, men were courteous. I remember a kind man on a Bolivian bus share his blanked with me, he couldn’t speak English but I noted his unconditional kindness. I found ordinary every day people to be very kind. That doesn’t mean I haven’t been attacked I have but even when that happened I talked to the guy, and can you believe it, I walked him home. He thanked me and gave me a kiss. How funny, I was supposed to be the victim.

Anyway, going back to surveillance. I think this technology removes the human senses from solving problems. I know having used technology that we desensitise when watching footage and see people as objects more. We don’t sit down and really discuss what is going on. The person who attacks someone picked up on camera, do we go and really talk to this person and determine what drove the behaviour, what was he believing he had to do to get his needs met.

Having been trained in conflict resolution and recently exploring transformative mediation I am seeing more clearly how important it is for people to challenge their own beliefs. It is too easy to box people through paradigms and visual images, rather than do the harder work of figuring out what caused the behaviour. Always it is beliefs. So what are the beliefs? What is the why of behaviour? Are we able in an empathic frame to really communicate in ways which de-escalate distance and fear to really uncover the fears in the other. Once this has been soothed and understood, then we can look at educating people in the real work of social change. This is not programming it is giving them the tools to understand conflict and look for ways to expand possibilities for resolution. It is allowing them to speak, to creatively find solutions tailored to the people involved. We have to empower people to solve problems rather than using electronic equipment to catch the bad guys. There are no bad guys, there are confused people believing their thoughts and doing terrible things to justify it. Women can do a lot of damage psychologically as well. Women can verbally abuse, ignore, hit out at others because they can’t cope or are angry. I’ve seen aggressive females and they can be cutting, if they are mothers the wounds of children will go on for life.

As a community we have a lot of work to do to de-escalate the psychological fear that is driving the need for security (outer). The real security is inner as I’ve seen. As I change my worldview within (fearlessness, optimism) my outer world changes. Now there is an energetic aspect to this. When we think we send out electromagnetic pulses as thoughts. If you keep thinking this way accompanied by emotions, over time, you will attract what you fear. Someone powerless who needs power will sense your fear and this sets up the bullying situation. That is why children who appear weak and nurdy as they say, often get picked on. The other child senses their vulnerability. So the key to de-escalating the potential of violence is to help people feel their own power, this is empowerment. This means they are capable of moving through life unaccosted, if they are, then they take action. They can assert themselves. People in some difficult situations have talked their way out of it. If you appeal to the humanity in the other, transformation can occur.

Today we live in a world increasingly disconnected and believing myths as reality. In truth the world is a safe place when you de-escalate your own violence or fear. If you go into the world with a negative disposition of distrust, fear, anger, defensiveness you will eventually attract someone mirroring it. Interestingly people do attract what they fear and what they love. The law of attraction is a universal law and what you focus on consistently enough, combined with strong emotion, will attract to you. I found this fascinating when I learned of it. I have seen it work in my own life. So this means we do have a sense of determination over what comes into our lives. Positive affirmations are not just lollipop statements, they change the energy by focusing on good/positive thoughts. Imagine if everyone thought positive what type of world would unfold. I can guarantee you it would be a very happy place. Too much violence on t.v., too many negative images on the internet available to children and an acceptance of it as normal. It is normal but not natural. Our natural state of being is peaceful and when we come into alignment with our true nature, we will be at peace. Then you will know the real security in life. They say love is the answer, it is not only that it is who we really are when we stop thinking.

So if you want world peace, think it, be it and talk about it. Eventually peace will be the dove that lands in your life. You will come to see that people are not bad they are following belief systems that are out of alignment with their truth. Truth always feels good as it aligns with natural harmony. If it doesn’t feel good, you have to fight for it, then you are not aligned with the natural pattern of life. That is the real definition of truth. We can read many books and find facts and call it truth but the universal truth is a living energy that you can feel when you are in harmony.

The challenge for us today is to connect to harmony within. This will only happen when we change our beliefs, don’t watch the media, fill our minds with positive thoughts and get focused on your own happiness. We all have our paths to walk, some are tough some are easy but when it is our time to have a challenge, it will come. So stay happy, help others and care about your neighbours. Give a smile you just may change a life.

Let’s surveil for what good people are doing. Let’s look at what works. Let’s communicate random acts of kindness through the media. Let’s show people that there is much goodness in this life. People at essence are truly good, they are just in fear which blocks this natural bounty from showing. I know that having clowned around the world and having met thousands of people. I’ve hugged, shook hands, danced and laughed with the great variety of humanity. I see their kindness. I know what I am saying is true. However, if we want to change the future of the next generation, we have to show them it is a good world otherwise they will be too afraid to truly live. This is what fear takes from them. Yet when they face what they fear, like me, they will see all is good.

It is still a beautiful world, that has been my experience.

peace and love from a Peacefull clown.