This is interesting to read. You can feel the pressure on her.  He also puts her in the wrong in respect of embarrassing him.  Rather than apologising.  He indicates he is used to doing this.

I recall when I went for a job at a Sydney pub.  It was the first time I went for a bar job.  The manager told me to go and try on a t-shirt without my bra.  I was only 20.  I was really confused about this but he convinced me to do it. My inexperience was why I did it.  He then came into the back room and he started to inch up this t-shirt then he quickly flashed my breasts.  I was shocked.  He then left the room.  I quickly changed and the part I am most angry about is that I said ‘thank you’ and left.  I didn’t ring to find out if I got the job.  I remember being so confused about it. I never went for a bar job again. 

A man attempted to rape me on a beach but fortunately I talked him out of it. He still touched me but at the time I felt it more important to talk him through this and try to evoke some form of empathy and understanding in him.  I believe in dialogue as a form if safety, for me I need to speak up as I feel empowered and safe and I want the man to change so other women are not hurt. I call it social responsibility, I feel this strongly. 

I recall being whistled at in New Zealand by a group of men on a building site and when I said ‘thank you’ they ignored me and I saw sourness in them.  I didn’t understand as I thought they liked me.  I realised only recently that it was about power not admiration.  

I was nearly abducted in New Zealand, my partner was in the bushes have a pea and I appeared hitching alone.  Two cars pulled up, I was under a false sense of safety given my partner was not far away.  The men encouraged me to get in the mini and the car behind was a ute, they encouraged me to put my bag in the ute and sit in the car. I innocently went to do that and my partner emerged (over 6 feet tall) he walked towards them and slowly they drove off.  I realised later they were notorious in New Zealand and I was moments away from being abducted and raped.  I will never forget it. I realised I would never have moved to go with them if my partner was not there. 

I was molested at school many times.  I have been flashed at in an underpass.  I’ve been driven to a remote place where a guy propositioned me, I said no and he said ‘walk’. Which I did.   I have been in situations where I have been pressured and felt I couldn’t get out of it.  I’ve had other experiences which helped me discover that it was truly power. The list goes on.  This is normal for women.  Men think it is nothing, it is not.  It is about power never love. Love – shares, cares, reveals and heals.

I was a witness in a rape case and the women was put through verbal abuse on the stand.  She ended up dying of a heart attack some years later as the pressure was too much. The guy got off.  She was not valued.  It was horrendous for her. The man who raped her was free to do it again.  He went for her as she was on medication. I was on a interstate train.  She went to the toilet a lot and he followed her.  I heard him with her in the toilet.  I was shocked.  She called for help.  So I went to get help.  He targeted her as he knew she was vulnerable. This is a key issue.

I have spoken up but nothing ever happens.  There is NEVER an apology.  I am just ignored as if I don’t exist.  I know the pain of this.  You see political correctness and how public messages of respect are stated but you know they do not respect you.  They do not respect themselves. Sexual harassment is normalised in this country and across the world.  I wonder when men actually get this.  Does it have to come down to their careers ending or public humiliation, why can’t it just be a realisation that they have hurt someone or intimidated them and respond normally to assure that person of their true intention, if honourable. What I encountered all my life is ‘silence’ and absolutely zero accountability.  I want the silence to stop and I want people to have the courage to accept their part, to actually take responsibility and be the men they say they are.  I ask them to stop blaming the woman but actually solve the problem.  Some believe the woman is the temptress that she somehow asks for it if she dresses up or is positive.  If you sat down and talked to her you will find she has a different perspective.  We all need to have a conversation about this subject and deal with it proactively with empowerment in mind, that is what responsible adults do.  I would love to see organisations, rather than knee jerk reactions actually deal with issues as they arise without external best practice pressure.  However, if a person or management doesn’t feel empathy, then what? If it is all self interest, then what?  What sort of society do we create as a result?  What of kindness, compassion and truth?  Is this just idealism or is it something someone believes in and acts on?  What of their daughters? I do feel upset writing this as I am still healing.  

Now I am sure some will read this and go ‘so what’.  What you don’t understand is that in real life it is much harder. It is the power issue that is the key focus. He is in a position of power and he is pressuring but making out it is innocent.  He is persuading her he is fine.  Yet the pressure is there.  He doesn’t respect what she wants. He is after his own needs. This is the core issue that is not understood.  She feels powerless and this is how disempowerment renders one gender dominant over another.  It is interesting psychology. I don’t blame him so much as a society that says it is normal and fine.  The real problem is not being believed and others thinking it is ‘nothing’.  The bystander apathy is problematic.  That bystander could be others she tells.  We have to develop social codes that make clear the boundaries – what is healthy what is not? What is respect what is not?  So if father’s don’t teach this to sons how do they know? If Hollywood expects sexual favours in order to progress then it is the group think that allows this.  So in truth this is a social issue and it is in the public interest.  I am not for linching people, I am for educating people and helping them understand how it is problematic. Now if they continue then they have an problem. That is when a person must be stopped as they will do it to others.  Responsibility is not just a word it is to act.

www.abc.net.au/news/2017-10-11/harvey-weinstein-full-transcript-of-audio-with-ambra-gutierrez/9037268

Harvey Weinstein: Full transcript of the ‘horrifying’ exchange with Ambra Gutierrez

Posted 11 Oct 2017, 9:08amWed 11 Oct 2017, 9:08am

A police recording of Harvey Weinstein harassing a model in a New York hotel has been released by The New Yorker as the list of women accusing the film mogul grows.

In the recording Weinstein appears to confess to groping model Ambra Battilana Gutierrez as she repeatedly rebuffs his requests to join him in his hotel room.

The Manhattan District Attorney’s office did not prosecute Weinstein at the time because it said it did not have enough evidence to make a case.

Here is the full transcript of the exchange that took place on March 27, 2015.

Weinstein: I’m telling you right now, get in here.

Gutierrez: What do we have to do here?

Weinstein: Nothing. I’m going to take a shower, you sit there and have a drink.

Gutierrez: I don’t drink.

Weinstein: Then have a glass of water.

Gutierrez: Can I stay on the bar?

Weinstein: No. You must come here now.

Gutierrez: No …

Weinstein: Please?

Gutierrez: No, I don’t want to.

Weinstein: I’m not doing anything with you, I promise. Now you’re embarrassing me.

Gutierrez: I know, I don’t want to. I’m sorry, I cannot.

Weinstein: No, come in here.

Gutierrez: No, yesterday was kind of aggressive for me.

Weinstein: I know —

Gutierrez: I need to know a person to be touched.

Weinstein: I won’t do a thing.

Gutierrez: I don’t want to be touched.

Weinstein: I won’t do a thing, please. I swear I won’t. Just sit with me. Don’t embarrass me in the hotel. I’m here all the time. Sit with me, I promise —

Gutierrez: I know, but I don’t want to.

Weinstein: Please sit there. Please. One minute, I ask you.

Gutierrez: No, I can’t.

Weinstein: Go to the bathroom.

Gutierrez: Please, I don’t want to do something I don’t want to.

Weinstein: Go to the bathroom — Hey, come here. Listen to me —

Gutierrez: I want to go downstairs.

Weinstein: I won’t do anything and you’ll never see me again after this. OK? That’s it. If you don’t – if you embarrass me in this hotel where I’m staying —

Gutierrez: I’m not embarrassing you —

Weinstein: Just walk —

Gutierrez: It’s just that I don’t feel comfortable.

Weinstein: Honey, don’t have a fight with me in the hallway.

Gutierrez: It’s not nothing, it’s —

Weinstein: Please. I’m not gonna do anything. I swear on my children. Please come in. On everything. I’m a famous guy.

Gutierrez: I’m, I’m feeling very uncomfortable right now.

Weinstein: Please come in. And one minute. And if you wanna leave when the guy comes with my jacket, you can go.

Gutierrez: Why yesterday you touch my breast?

Weinstein: Oh, please. I’m sorry. Just come on in. I’m used to that.

Gutierrez: You’re used to that?

Weinstein: Yes, come in.

Gutierrez: No, but I’m not used to that.

Weinstein: I won’t do it again. Come on, sit here. Sit here for a minute, please?

Gutierrez: No, I don’t want to.

Weinstein: If you do this now you will [unintelligible]. Now go. Bye. Never call me again. OK? I’m sorry, nice to have — I promise you I won’t do anything.

Gutierrez: I know, but yesterday was too much for me.

Weinstein: The guy is coming. I will never do another thing to you. Five minutes. Don’t ruin your friendship with me for five minutes.

Gutierrez: I know — but, it’s kind of, like, it’s too much for me. I can’t.

Weinstein: Please, you’re making a big scene here. Please.

Gutierrez: No, but I wanna leave.

Weinstein: OK, bye. Thank you.

Topics: sexual-offences, film-movies, united-states