To Abuse or Not to Abuse, this is the Real Question
Abuse is not our true nature.
I have experienced verbal abuse in my childhood and silent abuse (stonewalling) as an adult. I have never seen myself as a victim but always stood up for myself. I found it very hard to find peace as I found people who were controlling very difficult to reach. I find they are not able to control themselves or are unable to see the extent of their abuse. I have had some difficult emotional experiences because of this but I do see that as part of the path to self realisation. I do not dislike the people who I feel have abusive personalities as they are often living in their own private hell. They find it very difficult to examine themselves and often are in states of projection onto others. The other being the problem, the world causing them troubles, but refusing to look within for the truth. I have written this poem to all those who have abused and felt abused which is most of us. We are all here to learn about ourselves and in moments we feel the love of who we are. Every person is deserving of love and when you face your own demons you will see an angel sitting within you. For I do see you. Love yourself and you can truly love others.
TO ABUSE OR NOT TO ABUSE, THIS IS THE REAL QUESTION
What is love?
What is not?
What is healthy?
What is toxic?
What ushers in peace?
Where are we are war?
It is important to be clear,
Conflict is about differences,
Abuse is control,
Why do we need to control?
Because we are not in control,
And this is the reality,
That life is asserting to you.
The light is love,
The darkness is self hate,
This is the mythical heaven or hell,
Why do people hate themselves?
They never feel good enough,
They never feel attractive enough,
They are not smart enough,
And this is the world of inadequacy,
The world mirrors messages of unreachable goals,
People fall into roles that are never enough,
For they are under control,
And this is the top dog and the underdog,
Enmeshed in our culture.
For we seek power to continually prove,
we are more than not enough,
This is the win/lose competition,
For as one gains another loses,
Fighting is about winning,
Loving is about seeing,
And life is about learning,
For we are here to find who we really are,
And in the new paradigm we are perfect.
My life has been plagued by abusers,
I was taught to stand up not sit down,
I was taught to fight back to survive,
I was put down and controlled,
Yet my response was never abuse,
I was truly to seek understanding,
I was saying no,
I wanted to know why you feel nothing for me?
I am saying this is not my future,
For the future I see sets me free,
To be myself in freedom.
The Declaration of Human Rights is about respecting freedoms,
It is the right to freedom,
For you have no right to turn me into what you think I should be,
You have no right to use me in your frustration,
I have the right to find my own way,
I have the right to make my own choices,
I have the right to live in peace free of roles,
For I listen to my own inner voice,
Which speaks to me of loving myself,
And loving you … unconditionally.
For those trapped in abusive ways,
Know not why they do it for they are blind,
They feel the anger,
They feel the inner conflict,
They feel the frustration,
The feel the sexual arousal,
And like a movie they project it outward,
Rather then looking within,
For real responsibility is the action of taking back your own control,
And learning to control your actions,
To ensure you cause no harm,
Psychically, spiritually, emotionally or physically,
For these are all lines of violence seen and unseen,
That construct the edifice of a structure of violence,
That we call normal,
Yet this is the dominance of fear,
That feels tears are weakness,
Yet the greatest weakness is avoidance of truth,
For this is the roof to the real home that warms,
Where we are nurtured with loving kindness,
We are respected and heard equally,
Where love is the real power without control,
And this is the hour for all of us,
To be the change leads us,
To find our soul