Conflict Resolution: Mediation Process

Just imagine a world where everyone learns how to mediate disputes. Where we learn to listen, to hear the other, to communicate our issue without blame, we ask questions, we clarify our understanding, we seek for options and solutions. This is how we reach harmony. I often wonder about all the misunderstandings, the unresolved issues, the rigid jugements, the rejections, the unkindness, beatings, bullying, all of which is unnecessary in a world that is loving.

When we seek truth we find love always becomes the answer. Love is understanding, empathy, kindness and unity. It is peace in action.

MEDIATION PROCESS

1. Preparation: setting the scene: meet/consult co-mediator/ problems/ roles/concerns/physical envir

2. Process introduction: welcome, introduce, expectations, definition mediation/role, voluntary, confidential, the process, guidelines, time, refreshments and joint commitment to begin

skills: self-understanding, process understanding, assertiveness, clarity, empathy, encouragement

3. Disputant concerns for all parties: introduce stage, guidelines, listen, prompt, empathetic, enforce guidelines

4. Mediator summaries: summaries, reflect facts, feelings, invite corrections

skills: active listening, questioning for clarification, eye contact, summarising, assertiveness, appropriate intervention

5. Listing the issues (setting the agenda): introduce stage, check list (M1/M2), name issues concisely, neutrally, mutually, group related issues, order sequentially, check with parties

skills: clear written presentation, identifying interests, framing/reframing, relating, organising, sequencing, syntax awareness

6. Exploring issues: introduce stage, direct conversation between disputants, clarify (issues, perceptions, interests), refer to agenda, not suggested solutions for later, maintain control, prevent escalation

skills: active listening, clarify, facts, summarise, open-ended questions, shared interests, assertive, dealing with emotions, time, teaching appropriate forms of communication e.g. ‘I-statements’

7. Individual sessions: Introduce stage, confidentiality (if applic), feedback, agenda, impartial, probe agendas, allow emotions, explore realistic options for future, help identify BATNAs, watch time.

skills: active listening, summarise, open-ended questions, ‘hypotheticals, assertiveness, avoid siding with disputant

8. Creating options: introduce stage, future, agenda, brainstorm, no judgements, generate options, interest-based negotiation, allow silence

skills: assertiveness, active listening, summarising, open-ended questions, hypotheticals

9. Evaluating Options: introduce stage, future, agenda, explore options, evaluation criteria, workability, promote interest-based negotiation, allow silence

skills: assertiveness, active listening, summarise, open-ended questions, hypotheticals

10. Negotiating agreement: introduce stage, agenda, use disputants language, read aloud, reality check

skills:active listening, reminding about previous points, promoting concreteness

11. Closing/termination: acknowledge effort, unresolved areas, remind future lies with them, confidentiality

skills: assertiveness, body language, dealing with own emotions (if terminated without agreement)

12. Debriefing: follow through on referrals, vent feelings, review process and outcome, personal performance, what was well done, what could be improved.

skills: assertiveness, self-awareness, active listening