Please Stop Hurting and Killing Each Other!

I had a sad day today, I was feeling the unkindness of our world.  I went for a ride on my bike and felt incredibly sad, yet I still smiled at people as I went past.  Interestingly enough very few smiled back.  I wondered about them, I doubted they felt like I did.

I met a lovely lady at a coffee shop and her girls.  We met because I noticed a few tables of people were laughing at a young waitress who wasn’t smiling.  They said ‘she won’t smile’.  I said to them ‘I have been a clown my work has been to go to the saddest places and make people smile’.  I said ‘I could make her smile’.  They wished me luck.  Rather than tell her off for not smiling at customers, I tapped her on the shoulder and said hello.  A little later I went up to her and I said ‘you have a beautiful smile’.  She smiled.  Then each time I saw her she smiled.  I said to my new friends, see I can make her smile.  I said we can never know the reality of other people.  I said ‘I feel she is shy and lacking confidence’.  Then they noticed when she came over again she smiled.  You can never judge anyone.  If you give love, love returns.

I had a good conversation about how this lady’s friend was fighting against her husband as he had the children, and she joined a political grouping to fight.  I said people have got to stop fighting and start to look at themselves.  My friend confessed that this lady was dominant and it seems she is controlling.  I said to her the issue is they have not resolved the conflict and she wants to win.  This new friend agreed and I said really what she wants is resolution not war, but she is fighting as she is not resolved and not prepared to look at her part.  

I really made a wonderful connection with this lady who said she believed in freedom for her children, we spoke a little of Rudolph Steiner and his work in educating the whole child. I told her it is not about changing people or forcing them to be like us, it is about learning harmony.  We have to embrace difference.  Even if a child is being difficult just don’t react and simply respond when they feel better, even a difficult child is being who they are right now and can we be at peace with that.  If our buttons are pushed then we have to face what is unhealed within us.  At the end of a few hours we hugged and said goodbye.  

I then had another chat with another patron and exchanged stories about life.  This is peacemaking in the world.  No-one knows you are peace making you are just valuing every human being.  I do it all the time as I dislike no-one.  I have had some unkind things done to me over many years, I’ve been judged as I don’t have money, people praise my work but very few back peace.  I felt sad because I’ve worked so hard over the years for peace but feel I have failed.  The sorrow sometimes feels very deep.  Yet I know in my heart that even a few hours with people can make a difference to them and I have no shortage of love to give.

After that chat I went to another cafe and started to read the Equal Opportunity Act and Human Rights Charter for Victoria.  I am doing this as I have had a long term conflict and I want to resolve it.  This conflict has deeply affected my life but I feel no ill will towards people.  Reading the human rights charter was painful for me as I didn’t feel respected, my rights were not observed and I wondered about this world.  As I read a few of my letters I remembered my own integrity and how I had written with respect to the other parties and how they completely ignored me.  I felt this deep sadness in my heart.  Why can’t people sit down and resolve conflict, take responsibility for their part and make peace?  Why do we make it so hard to heal?  Why do we ignore the suffering of others?  Why do we fight in so many ways?  When will we make peace and coexist with diversity? 

Then tonight for some reason I felt compelled to get out my video called ‘The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas.  Perhaps not the best video for a person feeling down but something within me moved me.  Perhaps my sadness was looking for resonance I am not sure.  Anyway this film is about a German extermination camp whereby the Father is the Camp Commadant and his family live in the house nearby.  His son Bruno is only 8 and he has no children to play with.  He thinks there is a farm nextdoor and he knows there are children there.  He can see from his window.  He says to his mum that they are dressed funny in pyjamas.  The children are home schooled.  He is forbidden to go out the back.  But being a little boy he is curious and he wants to play with other children. So he goes to the farm, which is the camp, he meets another little boy the same age, Smoo.  He thinks that is a funny name and the other boy say’s he never met a Bruno. So Bruno comes regularly and the little boys talk.  Bruno doesn’t understand that this is an extermination camp and the other little boy isn’t aware that people are being gassed.  Bruno brings food to this boy and his football and they play chess.  There is a scene in the film where the Jewish boy comes into his house to help clean glasses.  Bruno is happy to see him and offers him some food.  Smoo is very hunger and wolfs down the food fast.  Bruno smiles.  Then the German soldier comes in and accuses Smoo of stealing.  Smoo says that Bruno is his friend and he gave him the food.  Bruno becomes frightened as the German soldier yells if this is true.  He says a lie saying he didn’t know Smoo and that he helped himself.  The German soldier takes this child and beats him.  Bruno doesn’t know this but he cries as he told a lie and got his friend into trouble.  All the while this is happening Bruno’s sister is being indoctrinated with the Nazi doctrine and believes her father is doing the right thing.  Bruno is trying to make sense as his sister tells him the Jews are evil.  He thinks of Smoo and doesn’t think he is evil.  He is confused as Smoo is his friend.  For days he goes to see his friend but he is not there.  Then finally he sees Smoo who hangs his head down.  He looks up and his eye is black and blue from a beating.  Bruno feels bad.  Smoo says he can’t find his dad and Bruno decides to help him.  He comes back on his last day having told the boy that he is leaving.  His mother is horrified when she realises they are burning Jews.  So she is packing up the children to leave.  Bruno decides to take a shovel and go to Smoo, Smoo gives him striped prison clothes and hides his hair under a hat.  The two boys go in.  Bruno is confused as he saw a cinema film his father played for other Nazi dignitries which made out the camp treated the Jews well with cafe’s, playing and so on.  As he walks with Smoo he feels the aggression and gets frightened, he wants to go home but Smoo says he wants help to find Papa, so he goes with him.  He sees the conditions and realised it is not the same as the movie.  They suddenly get rounded up and they are taken to the gas chamber.  The boys are frightened and hold hands.  They tell them they are having a shower.  They take off their clothes and then the lights go out and the gas canisters are dropped.  At the same time Bruno’s father and mother realise he is missing and the mother sees his clothes near the fence, the father realises the gassing has begun and to his horror his boy is in there.  In that moment he is one with any person who has last a loved one.  The terrible pain of loss is there and anyone watching this film is not lost on the irony of his love for his son but not the Jews or can we just say people who are ‘other’ to him.  The demonising and causing of the enemy is what creates this space where people are killed.  

I sat here and thought deeply about the war mentality.  The soldiers seeing the ‘other’ as the enemy, the children seeing a friend.  If only adults could learn from children.  If only adults could take responsibility for their actions, question their governments, look into their hearts and ask is this goodness, is this fair, is this true?  Imagine when people question rather than being demonised for speaking up, but in the true spirit of democracy or community being open to hearing different views.  I see this lack of tolerance for diversity, this manipulation of national interest, the media and information dissemination behind discrimination and I wonder when we all break out of the mantra that war in all its forms works?  We create so much unhappiness around the planet when we create enemies.  They come in many forms, they could be work colleagues (bullying), they could be neighbours, they could be family members or governments and so on.  It takes great courage to look for truth, to speak it and to not hate others.  To forgive is the highest love of self as if we really explore this, there is nothing to forgive.  We can’t change people as I said to this lady today we can only change ourselves and be better people.

So I wish to send love to all those who have warred with each other, all those who are still at war, all those who believe there is an enemy because really the only difference between an enemy and a friend is the feeling of love.  The two boys demonstrated that they loved each other and the enemy was no more.  This is the secret to ending all war, love is what is real, the rest is denial and our refusal to take responsibility for our part.  I can see how wars around the world have created the situations we are seeing in the middle east but is anyone going to say we contributed to this, we sold weapons, we use war as a solution, perhaps we were wrong, perhaps war doesn’t create security but creates more misery.  Is there ever going to be a time when the killing stops and we start to realise that we can’t kill ideas, beliefs or force others to our will.  We are here to live in diversity and to accept it.  Until human rights becomes the mainstay of defence, we will be condemned to spending money in defence of ideas that don’t work in my view.  I know that conflict resolution works, I know that kindness works, I know that compassion creates unity and I know that I cannot judge people in truth.  That doesn’t mean I leave people in harms way, it means we work towards ensuring the safety and human rights of all people.  That should be the true essence of freedom, the freedom to love each other unconditionally.  Religions talk about it all over the world but few really understand the essence of true love.  Beliefs dominate as they are unquestioned, but can we make space to question when we can see people are hurting.  Can we help them as a friend and bring them together to seek to understand each other’s perspectives? can we genuinely make peace on this planet?

This is my wish I send to the world, please make peace with those you disagree with, allow them to differ.  If you truly want freedom, if you truly love god, if you truly feel mercy, then drop your weapons and make love your purpose. Reconnect with your heart, see your enemy as your friend, see each child as your own and set an example that children can follow.  There is no heroism in killing but there is great heroism in saving life. You cannot fight for peace, you can only be peace and that becomes a statement of who you are.

I will keep trying if you will.    Actually I will try even if you don’t.  That is unconditional love. I won’t give up.  

I love everyone in my own way, but sometimes I too hurt, sometimes I too judge, but I will never utter the words to others as I know I am sad because I do not understand, I am sad because I am in judgement.  I thank god I understand that, there is always tomorrow and it will be a better day.  Clarity is to know the truth that only love is real.  If I’ve hurt anyone, I ask for forgiveness.  The greatest love speaks the truth and opens the door to reconciliation.  We are One.

That is what peace taught me.