Can You Really Hear Other Voices?

To truly listen is to truly hear. Often we don’t know how to hear others, we are busy thinking of what we want to say. I do a good activity called ‘concentric circles’ where people are in two circles (inside/outside group) and I ask one side to speak of a subject for 2 minutes and the other to listen. Then reverse it and those listening are to speak and those speaking listen. They then have to repeat back what they heard in a couple of minutes. Mostly people get it wrong and you can see they compensate putting in what they think they meant. So with conflict it is understandable that many do not even hear the other and therefore it is not possible to solve a problem.

Reflecting back something someone has said is a good practice to check you got it right, they also feel heard. Most of the conflict is about not being heard or somehow silenced as someone feels threatened. Yet had they questioned their thinking perhaps they would be open to hear what they fear. That is courage.

It is a good practice to get up and speak up. Most people are too afraid to stand out of the crowd, but as you practice it gets easier. The world doesn’t fall in. You realise you have a voice and you cannot know how that affects others. If they are words of peace and love, you will heal others in the room. That is leading by example.

It is interesting when you look at paradigms of right and wrong, people will argue to be right.  When we think we are right we become blind to other views or we demonise the other and we can only hear out own thoughts. People will become educated in a subject to gain intellectual power giving the facts to be right to disarm others.  When a person wins they feel a sense of the self inflate, the ego feels bigger, superior. If you hate someone or disagree you will notice that you close off from that other and are not open to hearing another view, you may dismiss them or ignore them focusing on someone else.  If someone makes you wrong you don’t like it and conflict can break out or when particularly deflating, violence can happen.  When you step away from being right and decide it is not about right and wrong it is about perspectives and the right to an opinion, rather than seeking to win you may share your view and ask more questions. Who knows you could be wrong.  

I have said to children when I taught peace – what is the most intelligent thing you can say?  They say they don’t know.  I say ‘I could be wrong’ when you say that  you open a space to learn more.  This is where the power of infinite possibilities comes into focus, when you think you are right they disappear as you fixate on one view and if others don’t agree they become an enemy or are devalued in some way.  If you find that view is not working would it not be wise to look for what works or what feels right?  What feels right is different to what you think is right as emotions are very good guidance.  When you tune into feelings your gut feel will give you an indication if you are in alignment with your truth or not.  When you are not in alignment it feels not good.  Some people are very unconscious and they will try and put another down to feel better, they will look for a weakness or become abusive.  

When people start to awaken to inner truth they will realise when they feel bad it is because they are in a lie about themselves or someone else.  In power issues always the person will seek to feel good through being right.  In a spiritual space the person will seek inner truth to find peace, they will listen.  Both are vastly different universes.  When you become clear and open you create a space to truly be present for another, then you can hear what is being said and peace arises as unity.

To hear all the voices we must be prepared to hear the great diversity. In the future it will not be about who is right or who is wrong, it will be about perspectives which are honoured and personal journey’s no two the same. I am learning to sit back and really appreciate others perspectives. I am a peacemaker and it has been easy for me to sit with those who have been engaged in violence (Khmer Rouge). I do not judge them but in peace I seek words that heal or if dialogue is not possible, create a space for them to hear themselves. That is love.  Only the real truth sets you free. Any other false truth becomes a prison to beliefs and unhappiness is the result.

Here is a great song by INXS.

Mohandas Gandhi

“If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children.”

Archives
Categories